Day 48

Now don't freak out... I am okay. Hee hee, now I have you worried! Tomorrow is round 3 of chemo and I am a bit apprehensive about it. I am okay with having it. It means I am just that much closer to the end, but I don't really want to do it because I hate the side effects. I really don't want to feel gross and what not for two to three days. I know it's only 72 hours where I am really not feeling well, but those 72 hours can feel like 72 days. I just dread the side effects. But I know that I can muster through it all. Just give me some encouragement.

Now I have no idea what's going on with my hair. Some of it is growing back, some of it is gone. Gee, if I had left it all on my head, I would have clumps of it still on my head. Just very interesting how the chemo works.

Other than that, just working working working. I am glad I have something to focus on besides this crap. Well, I am tired, so signing off. Will bring the laptop to chemo and maybe take another picture!

Day 47 - A Nightmare!

Oh boy... I had my first chemo nightmare last night. My dream, I was administering my own chemotherapy! Yikes. I was standing in front of the hall mirror with the syringe full of arithomycin and injecting it in my port. Wow! I couldn't believe it. That's super crazy. I guess I'm thinking a lot about my next treatment, huh?

My neighbor, John, and his girlfriend, Christina, came over tonight and delivered a basket full of oranges. Apparently he got 80 pounds or so of oranges. So now we have about 10 pounds of them. Yum, fresh OJ in the morning!

Then my former employer... employees from KATU... all chipped in and got the family dinners! We got about 5 prepared dinners to defrost, heat and serve. And these dinners are good for two family meals! I can't wait to try some of them... beef stroganoff, catfish, chicken pot pie, risotto and mac n cheese. All come with a side! I'd like to say thank you to the following people who made it happen... personal thank yous to come: Evon, Shellie, Tracey, Liz, Erin, Phil, Carl, Super Sean, Rhonda, Amy, Sue, Steve, Mark, Lynne, Jon-Michael, Helen, Diane, Rob, Eric, Ana, Carolyn, Fousie & Blue, Eric, Craig, Tom & Elisa, Monty, Bob, and Debbie. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Doing fine other than my nightmare... the house is still standing, the kids are alive and kicking, husband is doing well... Until tomorrow...

Day 46 - T-minus 3 days...

Yes, it's another three more days until Round 3 of chemo. It's something I am not looking forward to... but yet I am looking forward to. It's a catch 22. I don't want it to come because I am not looking forward to Sunday, but yet I am looking forward to it because it's Round 3 and I am that much closer to being done with this horrible stuff. Yucko! I figure that I will be 3/8th of the way through chemo when I resurface on the other side of the yucky side effects... so that means I'll be saying I am that much closer to the end when Wednesday next comes around.

So I called the insurance company today. I found out that my copays to the doctors do not count towards the total out of pocket expense. That's a shame because every single time I go to chemo I have to see my oncologist. So that means that I have to pay Dr. Luoh $400 in copays when all is said and done. Fun stuff... but that's okay. If it means I am getting better and eradicating those dumb cancer cells, I am down with it. I am just glad I have health insurance. I am also getting closer to the maximum out of pocket max of $5500. I am at $2153.00, so just under halfway there. Got my visa card bill too today... that was, well, high. But I was expecting it.

That's about it. Good day again. Just dreading Sunday. :(

Feed a cold, starve a cancer

This was an interesting article I found on MSN:

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/cancer/a-shocking-new-way-to-kill-cancer

Day 45

Whew! What a day. It's 7:37p and this is the first time I have sat down all day long by myself. And I have been up since my wonderful husband left for work... so about 6:15a. Thank goodness it's not a bad Sunday otherwise I would be so beat. I feel like a super mom today...

What did I do today??? I did four loads of laundry (that includes folding and putting away), Swiffered the floor, vacuumed the floor, watched and played with the kids and finished up doing some work from home. The only thing I didn't do was make dinner. That was left up to a fantastic friend and neighbor, Jen! Thank you for making us dinner. The turkey tetrazinni was most delicious, the garlic bread (had just a small piece), salad and brownie for dessert was awesome! There's plenty of left overs, so we will be having it again later this week. Or maybe I will take it to work for lunch. Either way, so yummy! Oh yes, the tulips are wonderful. Nice color splash and it's nice to bring outdoors in! Oh yes, I also cleaned a few bathroom sinks and toilets. My feet are sure tired. Right now I have them elevated on two pillows. Feels so good.

Other than that, it was a really good day. Can't wait to have another good one tomorrow. Gonna watch the Academy Awards now... what's left of it. I must say that I do love seeing Billy Crystal hosting again. I lovve his intros or opening act.

Day 44

Posting about Saturday's activities today... why? Because I was soooo busy. I take my good days very seriously... jam packing them full with fun stuff.

Saturday.... I couldn't sleep, well, actually I slept in 2 hours longer than I would have on a normal working day. But I got out of bed and did some work from home. Got a lot of stuff done between 5.30 and 7.30 when the kids woke up. Got the kids breakfast and ready for the day. Brad spent most of the day helping friends, Tracey and Eugene, move into their new home... which is really cute. At around 11.30a, Grandma Nancy came over to help with lunch and I ran over to Tracey and Eugene's to deliver a house warming gift. When I got back, Elaina was already down for a nap and I "tried" to get Amelia to take a nap. No such luck... but she had quiet time in her room. I, on the other hand, got to eat a yummy burrito in peace and quiet!

Then Elaina got up, Brad got home and Grandma and Grandpa came over (Bill and Evelyn). We went out to dinner.... yummy fish and chips. Then we went to do a little shopping. We came home and it was time to get the kids ready for bed... and by then I was soooo tired. I fell asleep on the couch and then moved up to the bedroom to sleep.

Saturday was a good day. I wasn't fatigued and wasn't nauseated... not once. I like these days and loathe the fact that in another 4 more days I have to go back in for another round. I don't mind going in on Thursdays, I just don't like the days 3-6. Those are the hardest. I will have to find out if I can take compazine, zofran and atavan at the same time. Maybe that will be my drug cocktail of choice to keep the nausea and vomiting at bay. I know the zofran kept the nausea down... but it didn't keep the vomiting from stopping. At least I know that on Sunday next Bill and Evelyn will be here so I can just hole up in the bedroom and not worry about the kids... only surface when I need some food or more water. Drink, drink, drink.

Day 43

Another good day. Worked my butt off at, well, work. Put in a long day but I feel good. I got all the stuff I needed done - done. So this weekend I can sit back and relax so to speak. Still waiting to get my laptop so I can work from home. Thank goodness my GM is allowing me to do that.

Tomorrow it's me and the girls, as Brad is going to help friends move. Then the Bill and Evelyn will be coming over. Should be a fun filled day!

Today I took Amelia out shopping. It was just a "Mommy and Me" time without Elaina or Brad. She enjoyed the undivided attention. And she was such a good girl.

I'm tired and am signing off for today.

Day 42

It's 415a and I am updating my blog as I eat my breakfast. Day 42 was a good day. Nothing really to report. I went to work, came home and then played with the kids. No troubles at all. I do get waves of nausea, but not enough nausea to cause me any trouble or to take a pill to get rid of it. I have developed a little bit of acid reflux. I find if I eat acidic foods like tomatoes or spicy foods it gives me a little bit of acid reflux. So I have been taking zantac for that.

On a side note... the terrible news keeps on piling up. One of my friends just found out that her husband may have testicular cancer. :( They go in for a biopsy next week. This is not good. For my friend... this will be the worst part of the diagnosis... the waiting for the tests to figure out the diagnosis and treatment. In addition, my step-sister just found out that her husband has colon cancer. They found out during a routine colonoscopy. Grrrr! So again, they will find out more in the coming weeks. And another one of our close friends may have a recurrence of prostate cancer. We'll find out more on Monday. So the news keeps coming and coming. Can we just fast forward to 2013???

On a positive note... I want to let everyone know my step sis is expecting! Wahoo! I'm going to be an auntie again. :)

Until next time....

Day 41 - Gone Britney!

Okay, today I've done it... I've gone Britney Spears! However, I am sane.

This evening with the help of my wonderful husband, I shaved my head. The hair was falling out in droves and I was tired of having little hairs all over the place. So after putting the girls to bed, I grabbed a new razor and my shaving cream and started shaving off all my hair. Oh my gosh. It feels so good now. My head it wonderfully hairless. I started with the front (where I could see) and just started shaving. When Brad finished reading to Amelia, he came in and helped by holding up the mirror so I could see the back of my head. My head smells like raspberry rain now! The razor is now in the trash. And my head shines! LOL. I didn't get all the hair, but I got most of it. Now I don't have to wear a towel to bed! After I finished shaving my head, I put lotion on it... don't want to get razor burn. But in all honesty, my head feels great and I am so happy I shaved it. I feel so empowered.

So today at work, I told my team that I have breast cancer. They took it well. I am starting to tell more people at work so it's not so a secret anymore. I am now okay with it. I feel I am in a good place because I am two treatments down. I told my GM that I have breast cancer because I asked him if I could get a laptop so I can work from home. He said that would be a good possibility. He didn't know. He made a comment of why my boss didn't tell him. I told him that it was my request that he not tell him. It's my body and my health and he didn't have to know. It was on a need to know basis.

I am having a good time. Cancer sucks, but I am making the most of it. I don't have any ill feelings. At times I think to myself, why me. But then I say, why not me? I'm cool with where I am in life. I still love it. I love this challenge. It is a challenge that I will beat, too.

I have two more treatments of adriamycin and cytoxan. That means four more days of complete and under nausea. After that it's taxol and that means the nausea goes away. I am happy for that. I can say I am half way done with the horrible chemo. March is just around the corner... and that means I am one month done with chemo. I am looking forward to May 10. That's the last treatment of chemo (if everything goes as planned).

Well, that's it for today!

Day 40

What a difference a few hours can make. Today marks day 40 since finding out that I have breast cancer. I have two rounds of chemo behind me. And I am starting to feel better.

Yesterday was really horrible. The day before that was really horrible. But now that 4 and 5DPC is behind me, I can say I am in the home stretch of feeling good for the next ten days. I woke up this morning around 3:30. I was feeling really hungry so instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I got up and made myself an english muffin. One side had butter and the other had peanut butter. It was yummy... and it stayed down. I washed that down with 16 ounces of water. That too stayed down. Following my breakfast, I decided to lay down again since I was unsure of the status quo of my gastrointestinal track. I did manage to call my boss and tell him that I would take one more day off to relax and get some rest. He said okay and that was that. I went back to sleep... and got up around 6a. I was a little nauseous, but not enough to take anything for it. I sometimes don't because I am afraid that it's going to make me feel even worse. I asked Brad if there was anything I could do for him.... he said yea, I could get Elaina ready to go. I said sure. I was eager to do something after the last two days I was not eager to do ANYTHING. So I got Elaina ready for the day and kissed the kids good bye. Following that I mosied back upstairs to bed. I flipped on the laptop and started to just surf the internet in bed.

I checked my email from work and personal email. I even got caught up on Facebook. Thank you to everyone who is respecting our wishes and not posting anything on Facebook. I do appreciate it. Around 7, I got hungry again and went downstairs to grab something to eat... yogurt. Yum that was delicious. I wish I had another Boston Creme Pie yogurt. It went down so nice and smooth. I chased that down with water and then apple juice. I have been eating soooo much today. By 8a I was hungry for chicken lo mein. I couldn't believe how hungry I was. I have been eating all day.

I finally got off of the internet around 10 or so. This time I got off to go and run to Safeway to get myself some lo mein. While the lo mein wasn't the greatest, it certainly quenched that desire. I have no more craving for it. Oh, I did forget to mention that while I was online, I was chatting with David on facebook. Sounds like he is going to come over to my house and help me plant my vegetable garden. Sweet! Thanks David!

The rest of the afternoon was spent working on work stuff. I got all my compass coaching in. I listened to all the negative verbatims from work... (just work stuff). I feel accomplished. I need to talk to my GM to see if I can have a laptop so I can VPN into work and gain access to other things I need access to that I can't get from home. We shall see!

I mainly snacked on lo mein all day long. Funny how last round i was jonesing for bean and cheese burritos and this time it's lo mein. Who know what next round will be... chicken bowl from KFC? LOL. I managed to take a shower too! I took a washcloth into the shower and began to scrub my head. My hair is finally falling out. It looks like Brad shaved! There are little hairs all over the place. In any case... the hair is falling out on top of my head as well as.... ahem. ;-) I told you this blog would be a no holds barred... it's good for those who may be going through the same thing. In anycase... fill in the blank. I made it through most of the day without taking any medication. I did end up taking half an atavan just before picking up the girls at Becky's. I took it because I was a bit apprehensive about taking care of them... I didn't want to get sick and fail as a mom. But it was in good measure because after I got home with them, they were having fun and I was having fun with them. We played and played and played. We played picnic, hide and go seek and tag! It was fun to actually be well enough to do something with my girls. I love them so much.

Today my neighbor, Sheila came over. She brought over a bunch of flowers and a dinner for sometime later in the week. That was soooo sweet of her. And it's a yummy meal too. I want to also say thank you to my cousin, Amy, Tyler and their sweet daughter, Caitlyn. They sent me beautiful irises and stargazer lillies. They are blooming so nicely. Thanks Deanne for chatting with me today. It was so nice chatting with you from Reno to Dayton. Mwah!

I want to say a special shout out to Lindsey (sp?) who I have never met... but is reading this blog. I am hoping that this blog will help you understand the patient side of nursing. If you have any questions.... anyone, please ask them. I will be very candid. I will tell you the truth. Momma told me not to lie! :)

Oh, on another note... I made my first payment... well... it was the one bill that covered my insurance deductible. I made that $634.00 payment for the actual biopsy today. I am glad that I called them. Since I had only received one statement and was paying for the whole bill in full, I got a 10% discount off of the bill. So instead of paying 634, I paid 570. Sweet night! That was soooo awesome. I am happy I called. In any case, that bill is going straight to my credit card. I am getting those airline miles. When this is all said and done, I want to go on a cruise. I am thinking a Disney cruise so we can take the girls. Tracey, you out there to price us an outside cabin going somewhere luxurious? Grandparents... you in, too? We're going to need a few babysitters, as Brad and I will need some "us" time! LOL.

Until tomorrow.... must go. Work awaits.

Day 39 - More nausea

So as you can tell, some of these posts are coming AFTER the actual day. Reason being, just to sick to write. I am sure you can fill in the blanks, though.

Day 39, Monday, was a rough day. Following day 38 where I didn't eat hardly anything at all, I managed to eat two little White Castle cheese burgers, some dried apple slices and just a few noodles. I dealt with nausea all day long. I took compazine, ativan... anything and everything that was in the arsenal. I didn't take zofran. That was the only thing I didn't take. For some reason I think it kills my taste buds... like I was tasting anything yummy anyway. But I did also manage to drink some apple juice and some ginger ale. That was more than what I drank the day prior. Heck on Day 38, I threw up boullion. I couldn't even get that to stay down. The weird thing about Sunday was that I wasn't feeling nauseous. I just had to throw up. Interesting, eh?

So yesterday, my best friend, Jen, came over and kept me company for a few hours. She said she'd be my Merry Maid, but I couldn't have her cleaning my house... sorry, Jen, not that mean. :) So she kept me company with conversation, watched me nap, we watched Rachael Ray's 1000's episode and just talked. It was nice to have someone there. Every once in awhile she'd grab me more drink... because I had to keep up on my fluids. I don't want to get dehydrated.

Becky ended up keeping the girls until Brad picked them up after work. So it was another long day for them. But I think they are used to it. Thank you Becky for keeping them all day. It means so much to us that we don't have to worry about them. :)

Then I took a full dose of ativan and went to bed. I woke up this morning... and am feeling better.... which leads me to Day 40.

Day 38 - Nausea

Sucked. I couldn't keep anything down. No matter what I took to help with the nausea, anything I ate just kept coming up.

Day 37 - Nausea and acid reflux

What a day! It started off kind of good, then went bad and then good and then bad.

Today was my first day of taking zofran. It was good for awhile, but then I took the dexomethasone. That made me feel awful. And I had to go to a birthday party. I managed to get myself ready and had Brad drive us and the girls to the party. We got there and I started feeling a little better. I was actually climbing all around the gym structures. Another off moment was the fact that I had some acid reflux going. It felt like I had something wanting to come up and out. It wasn't nausea. It was a burning sensation. So I called the on call oncologist to see if I could take Zantac for it. She approved it. Yea! The zantac helped. I had nearly a pound of mashed potatoes and gravy. I was craving something bland. All day I was having ups and downs. My final down... as I was getting ready for bed, I threw up. I felt better afterwards, but I still threw up. It wasn't much... just a little something from dinner. I took an ativan and went to bed.

We will see what day 38 brings.

Day 36

I didn't get to post yesterday. I was zonked and wiped out.

But it was nothing to write home about. I woke up and went to work. I took my dexamethasone and I didn't get sick from it. I worked until 330p because I was so behind. I went to the grocery store to grab my zofran and dinner. I had enough time to drop off the groceries before I had to get my neulasta shot. I couldn't get an appointment at Mt. Hood, so I had to go to Adventist Hospital. There's another outshoot of OSHU there. So that appointment was at 4:30p. I got out at 4:50p then went home. We had dinner and then I was pooped. I fell asleep on the couch.

But it was a good day.

Day 35 - Round 2 Chemo

Drip, drip, drip... in goes the chemo. I am at OHSU right now and I am on my last chemo of the day cytoxan!

Here's a picture of me and Brad in the infusion room!

We met with Dr. Luoh this afternoon. We rearranged my medications... so instead of taking the compazine, I am going to take zofran twice a day along with the atavan and the dexamethazone. So hopefully this will help me get over the hump.

(I am beeping which means I am done!)

Okay, I am now at home. So things are looking good. I met with Dr. Luoh and discussed the nausea issue. So we are now changing the medication for that. I am ditching the compazine and going with zofran. Then Dr. Luoh checked my lymph nodes and breast. Here's where it gets good. Dr. L said that the lymph node in my neck has gotten smaller! Good sign. He said 2 weeks ago the node was measuring around 1.5cm and he says that while it's still enlarged, it is now under 1 cm. Then he checked the lymph nodes under my arm. He said that those are getting smaller. It means the chemo is working! Lastly, he quickly checked my breast. He moved it around and he said that the breast is now more pliable and the nipple is popping out. It's all good signs that the chemo is working and the tumor is shrinking. And this is just after ONE round of chemo. It's a good good sign. I am hoping is shrinks even more. Good day good day!

Then it was time for chemo. I was worried that I would have another reaction. So for my premeds, I got a 15 minute drip of zantac. Apparently zantac helps suppress the immune system. Well, it worked! I didn't have any reaction to adriamycin. So that's wonderful news. It was a good good day.

Anyway, I am bushed and keep falling asleep during this post, so I am going to say goodnight. Love to all!

Day 34 - Port surgery

So I didn't get to write yesterday because, well, I wasn't home long enough to write. So here's how the day played out... started good, but ended up horrible. some of you may alredy know... but here goes...

I woke up at 3a to get ready for work. My plan was to stop by Burger King and get some breakfast... a nice high caloric breakfast that would keep me going until 5 when I would be home and eating dinner. The first BK I stopped at I couldn't order because their computer system was rebooting, so I went to the one closer to work. I got two sausage/egg/cheese croissanwiches (buy one get one free) and a side of hashbrowns. I wolfed down all of it with a chaser of 23oz of water. Thank goodness I did because it would be HOURS until my next drink and meal.

I made it through work all right. I even endured sitting in a meeting with my fellow coworkers eating philly cheese steaks. OMG, I was so hungry for one by the time the meeting was over... or I left for the day. So... at 12 I left for home. I met Brad and we headed up the hill to the hospital. We got there at 1:15 and checked in. Evelyn met us there. She got off of work early. Shortly after 130, Brad and I went to the outpatient waiting area. There I had to undress... everything and put on this beautiful Bair gown. The gown was HUGE... I could fit 3 of me in it. But it was kind of cool because they could hook me up to a blower. The blower would circulate hot air into the gown and keep me warm. Some dude came to take my blood pressure and temperature (he was creepy). Then another man came to put my IV in. I said, good luck as I felt dehydrated. He stuck a needle in me to numb the area and then gave me the IV. He was great. So we waited for awhile. Me on the bed, naked as a jaybird under the gown and Brad in the hard chair beside me. I fell asleep for awhile. An anesthesiologist came by and asked me a whole bunch of questions about myself and then a bunch of questions about my personal life. He told me that my surgery time was scheduled for 3:25. It was only 2:30. :-( At around 3.30, someone came to my bed and said that Dr. Pommier, the doctor doing my port surgery, was running behind. There was a rumor that it would be at 5p before he was complete with the other surgery. I was so mad. I was hungry and thirsty. To add insult to injury, the outpatient day surgery unit would be closing at 5p. Before I was transported, I was greeted by Dr. Pommier's resident and a 3rd year medical student. They went over how the surgery was going to be performed and it was at that time I could ask questions. I asked how they insert the port. First they do an ultrasound of my neck and look for the jugular vein. Then they make an incision in my neck. After that they insert a wire which follows the vein all the way down to the heart. After they follow that down, the doctor makes an incision in my chest about an inch or so wide, scoops out a pocket for the port (which is the size of a nickel or quarter... one person says one thing... literature on the smart port says another) and then places the unit in the pocket. Next they take sheathing and push that up along the wire, followed by the catheder. The catheder is "tunneled" under my skin. They take the wire out and then hook everything up, sew the port in place and then sew me up. The procedure takes about an hour.

So after they told me all this and I signed the papers, they had to wheel me to the surgery wing in a totally different building. That sucked. So I got to the new wing. The only upside to the new location was that I got TV. Brad and Evelyn both got to wait for me while I waited for Dr. P. Shortly before 5:30, Dr. P made his presence known. I talked with him briefly and said lets get going. I also talked with a new anesthesiologist. Thank goodness for the med student... he was the one who kept us aprised of the situation. He was nice. He just got off his obgyn rotation!

Then finally, they came to get me. The anesthesiologist gave me some medicine to make me feel good and less anxious. She asked me as she was wheeling me down to the OR if I was doing okay. I said, sure, as I wasn't anxious to begin with. From the surgery unit to the OR it's an eighth of a mile. Someone actually measured it. Interesting. It was OR 20, the very last one. I was rolled in at 5:50 (big clock over the door). I was told to move onto the other bed. Then the anesthesiologist said she was giving me the "twilight" medication. The only other thing that I remember is that someone said they were putting oxygen on my nose and to breathe. The next thing I remember is them saying wake up and how do I feel. I think I said I want apple juice! I was so happy it was all done. Then they wheeled me to the recovery area. I had a nice nurse... Michael, who assisted me and answered my questions over and over again. Then the portable xray man came and took a picture. Everything looked okay. I got my apple juice - yummy - and a choice of saltines or graham crackers. I chose saltines. But at that point I was too ill (headache) to eat very much. But I managed to eat a few without getting sick. My pain killer of choice vicodin. I took a vicodin... and then they called Brad who was waiting with his mom in the surgery waiting area. He came downstairs and met me. Then slowly I got up and ready to go. I was moving slow since I was still weak, not from the surgery, but from not eating. Michael told Brad to go get the car and he would wheel me down to the ER exit. We met up and it was time to go home! Discharged!By the time I got home it was after 9p!

What a long day. Brad dropped me off so I could get changed and eat while he went to pick up the girls at Becky's. Thank you so much Becky for watching the girls all day long! While he was gone I managed to eat half a bowl of ravioli. We didn't eat the enchiladas because it was way too late. After eating half of the can of Chef Boyardee, I started to feel better. I only ate half a can because I didn't know if I would throw it all up, but after I managed to eat that much, I felt I could eat the rest. It was so yummy. I was getting my strength back. I felt like dancing after eating... that's how much better I felt. It was awesome. :) Brad ended up eating some left overs after he got the girls to bed. Then it was time for me to sleep.

So that's how my day started out good and ended up bad. But the port is now in place and Dr. P left a needle in the port for my chemo the next day (as I am typing this... I've got cytoxan dripping into my body).

Day 33 - Port Surgery preps

Good day again... though very trying with a 3 1/2 year old. I think Amelia was the only pain I had today. Grrr... but that's for another blog! LOL

Today during my lunch hour I sped to OHSU Health and Healing Center to get my blood drawn. I had a nice tech who used a small butterfly needle and a syringe to take my blood. She said I had tiny veins and that using a syringe instead of the vacuum type vial would be better suited for me and a lesser of a chance of her blowing my vein out. Good choice.

After the quick blood draw, I went up to the 7th floor to see if I could meet Angie, one of Dr. Luoh's nurses. They had her paged and I finally got to meet her. What an awesome woman. We exchanged pictures of our kids. She asked how I was doing. Apparently she read my file and saw that I had called in last Friday because of my back spasms. She asked what went on and if I took anything. I told her nope because by the time Mary Ann got back to me, the spasms were decreasing. Yay. She said that I was a trooper for putting up with the pain. But what really could I do? I couldn't take anything for fear of a fever or putting a blood thinner type drug in my body.

Then it was back to work. At 12p, I got the call that my blood work was okay and I had a time scheduled for my port procedure. Guess what time it's at... just guess... okay... it's aat 1:30p tomorrow! Holy smoke... and they said I can't eat past midnight tonight. No food, no water. Um... yea that's going to fly with me going in at work at 4a. I am going to be soooo dang hungry. Shortly after that call, Angie called and said that my labs came back great and that I should be hearing from the surgery department. I said, yea I already heard from them. I told her about the no eating. She said that I should definitely call them and see if I can eat anything between 12 and the time I go into work. She said that they obviously don't know my work schedule. So after work I gave surgery a call. What a treat that was... read on.

So I called surgery oncology. The woman who answered the phone was *fabulous* and I don't mean that in a good way. She said I couldn't eat after 12. I asked her what was the cut off time that I can't eat for surgery. She still insisted it was 12. I said I work at 4 in the morning and not eating from midnight on wasn't going to cut it and that I'd be starving and on my last legs if I could not eat anything. So after insisting a couple of more times that I wanted to know the minimum time between my last meal and surgery... she put me on hold to ask a nurse. When she came back on the line, she was curt and said 4 is the latest. Oh, did I mention that she said that they don't want me eating in case they can get me in early? Honestly, how much earlier can they get me in if I am to check in at 1:30? It's not like they are getting me in at 9a. Sheesh, some people. Brad will have half a day and will be coming with me.

So guess what I am doing at 3:30 tomorrow? hahahaha

Oh so this is what will happen tomorrow. I will pay $750 (credit card for airline miles!) to OHSU. Then they will take me in for the procedure which is "day surgery." My doctor is Dr. Rodney Pommier (his brother and sister used to babysit Brad). They will insert the smart port in my chest. The incision will be about one inch in length. Then they will make an incision in my neck. Some how they will feed a tube in that will go into one of my bigger veins. They will do this with either general anesthesia or IV sedation. IV sedation is easier because it doesn't take as long for me to "come to" - I'm not asleep.

Well, it is late... 8:30 and I need to go to bed. I just finished eating a late Valentine's Day dinner with Brad (leftovers) and my dessert consisted of two Samoa girl scout cookies. Yum. Tomorrow's dinner is already made - chicken enchiladas. Double yum!

Hi to Dawn! Hi mom... love talking to you.

Day 32

Today was another fantastic day.

I got up... and hit the snooze bar several times because I knew that taking a shower wasn't going to take nearly as long. Drying off was really really easy, too. Got dressed and put on my new hair piece and went to work.

Oh my gosh! I can't believe all the comments I got at work. Everyone absolutely loved my new hair cut and color. I will have to take a picture of me in it and post. No one knew except for the people who I told at work. I was going to tell my team that I have breast cancer... but there was no time to take them off of the phones as a whole... and with everyone loving my hair... why should I? I know that I will tell them.

 

So today was a great day. No aches, pains, nausea or anything... just a run of the mill day. I know that I am tired, but that's because I went to bed late. That's my own doing. I had absolutely no calls from any of the doctors... that seems like a first! Tomorrow I go in for a quick blood draw to make sure my platelets and what not are doing okay. Then on Wednesday I go in for my port. Brad got the go ahead to take some time off. We are so lucky that Brad got the same supervisor so there's no "introduction" period.

 

When I got home today... I got a HUGE surprise from some of my friends. I have to go back a little bit and give you a little history. Out of the 11 people that pitched in for my surprise, I've only met 1. Yes, 1... and that was only because she lives about 35 minutes away... on the other side of town from me. But I am one lucky woman right now. These 11 fabulous girls I "met" on the internet when I was trying to conceive Amelia. That was five years ago. I met them on a fabulous online board. We were all trying to conceive our first, second or third child. We immediately bonded over our attempts month after month to get that child. Some of us are done trying now... meaning we've maxed out the number of bedrooms to kids ratio (:P), just done or still trying for more! In any case, this group of fantastic ladies sent me an awesome care package straight from the heart. I also have my dear husband to thank because he helped facilitate a few things... I'm told. Monty I love you for reaching out to Brad and asking him to get a list of books I'm interested in... In any case, I got this HUGE box filled with goodies.

Filled in the box was letters of love and encouragement from Yo, Brooke, Jen (she's the only one I've met and is my BFF), Annie, Olivia (let's arrange to meet in September as I will be in Lake Tahoe), Monty (& Kell), Ann, Kate, Kelli, Dawn and Kris. In addition I got: a water 25oz water bottle, homemade chocolate chip cookies, Suduko book, Tazo Rest tea, apricot scrub, loofa, metallic nail polish, soft lips sticks, socks, lounging pants, Warm vanilla sugar anti-bacterial moisturizing hand lotion, the book "Death Comes to Pemberley", a gift certificate to Jamba Juice, Spa Finder and my favorite... Taco Bell! And... my very talented Annie embroidered a bag with a pink ribbon on it that reads "Fight like a girl", matching outfits that have the pink ribbon and words for both Amelia and Elaina and finally a pink bow attached to a headband that I can wear on my beautiful bald head. I am so so so so so lucky to have such wonderful friends. I was thoroughly shocked and couldn't believe how much I am loved. Again... love you all! I can't wait for Thursday now... I can't wait to pack my new bag with my new book and snacks for chemo. And perfect timing for the book... as a co-worker of Evelyn's got me a pink ribbon bookmark.

Shampoo and Conditioner retired...

So I have officially retired the shampoo and conditioner - at least for the next 4-6 months! I am now a bald woman... and I think I look beautiful! Early this evening I noticed that my hair was starting to fall out. Not in clumps but in strand-fulls. I didn't want to wait, so my bestest hair dresser in the world, Christine, took me in at a moment's notice.

Before:


After:


No, I did not shed a tear. I have two pony tails and I am going to see if I can donate it to Locks of Love or whatever that organization is called. I even got to make a cut. I felt so empowered. :) It's only hair and I'm okay with it. I love Christine, who made me feel so beautiful throughout the whole process.

Tomorrow I get to wear my new wig! Hooray.

And those who are facebook users... a gentle reminder... please do not post anything about my condition on Facebook.

Love to all!

Day 31

Today has been a great day so far. So much better than one week ago. Currently the girls are napping, but I think I hear Elaina stirring. I've got laundry load #4 in the washer. I've changed the bed sheets, vacuumed the house (except for the playroom and stairs), washed all the dishes and even uploaded pictures and such. It's been good. Now we get to wait for the rest of the week.

As promised... here's a picture of Elaina... well two... with my "new" hair!

Day 30

Wow! I can't believe I didn't post yesterday! That means that I was busy doing other things and feeling grrrreat!

I woke up at about 5am and couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to get up and go into work. Yes, work on a Saturday. But I figured if I couldn't sleep, I might as well do something productive. Plus I was behind from not being at work to do the things that I needed to do. So I went in at 5.30a. All the supervisors were shocked to see me in. They joked that I was in because I was making up for all the time I missed during the week. I said that's absolutely correct. I was glad I went in. I got all the imparative stuff done that needed to get done. I even had some of my agents in doing overtime. That was fun because I could help them on a one on one basis.

At about 7.30, I went home. As I was driving home, I got a text from Brad saying that it was time to come home because the kids were up and it was time to come home. Hee hee, I was already en route. When I got home it was time to feed the kids breakfast and get ready for the day. We did all our errands. We went to Costco (love that place) and sampled some good food. I am really proud of Amelia because she is trying new foods. Yesterday she sampled perogies with cheese and potatoes. She liked it. With Elaina, she's easy. She'll eat anything right now. Next it was off to Winco Foods to pick up our favorite Tillamook yogurt, Banana Vanilla (yuck! But Brad and Amelia love the flavor). Following that we hit up Fred Meyer to pick up some stuff we needed for the rest of the week. We got our free cookie from the bakery and were off.

Funny thing happened while we were running from place to place. I was playing with my hair (yes, I still have my hair... for now. It's supposed to start falling out any day now) and Amelia who is sitting behind me says, "Mommy is that your new hair or old hair?" I told her it was my old hair. I asked her if she wanted me to wear my new hair. She said yes. I am so happy that she was part of the wig shopping. It will make it so much easier when I start wearing my wig. She felt a part of it and knows that I will soon be wearing it. :) So word to the wise... bring your kids to at least one wig store so they can see you trying on hair. Makes them feel like part of the process.

By the time we got home, it was time for lunch or nap. During that time... I got to put up my tired feet... and eat something. I have found lately that my appetite has been ravenous. I am gaining weight... which is good. I want to be around 115-120. I like that weight. :)

Later in the early evening, Brad's parents stopped by to drop off the kids' Valentine's Day gifts. They were so happy to see them. Amelia got a Cinderella plush doll and Elaina got a Jasmine plush doll. Then each kid got some chocolate, candy (sweetart hearts... I'm stealing Elaina's), jello, pudding and M&Ms. We then went out to dinner at 4th Street Brewing Co. That was yummy. I had a nice salad and their sepcialty sandwich... something melt. It had turkey, cheese, cranberry sauce, asparagus and bacon. It was yummy and filling.

Then by the time we got home it was time for bed. I was pooped. I'm sure you wanted a play by play... but there was really nothing going on yesterday cancer wise. I did have a couple of back spasms. But I think I only counted about 2 or 3, so they were definitely on the decrease. I did manage to pick up Elaina's icky sickies. So I have a slight head cold. I have been sanitizing left and right. But this sickness is going around. I have had sniffles and a slight sore throat from the post nasal drip. But it's nothing to be concerned about yet. I do hope that my blood counts will be high enough on Tuesday to go ahead with the port placement. I really want that. I don't want another IV on Thursday. Evelyn (MIL) is hoping to get the day off so she can go to the port placement surgery. I am still debating if I want the General Anesthesia or the local. I am leaning towards the local because it wears off sooner and I'll be able to go home sooner. I also learned that I will be shelling out tons of money on Wednesday. I have to put down $150 for the anesthesia and I have to put down a deposit of sorts in the amount of $500 for the actual procedure to OHSU. All goes towards my deductible, which I've already met... or it goes to the 80/20 for medical bills. So the $750 will go towards the 80/20. I have an out of pocket max for medical costs of $5500. So far, I've got another 4700 more to go before I hit that max. I love bills. Saving the receipts though... be a good deduction next year. I am also glad that I have medical coverage. If I didn't I would be paying a song. Just to see Dr. Luoh cost over $500 if I didn't have insurance. That was just for his services for consultation on 1/26. All I had to pay was $50. Phew.

Oh yes, on a funny note. Last night MIL wanted to see my new hair. So I showed it to her. Then I put the wig on Elaina. She looked so funny.... she looked like an 80s punk rocker. I'll have to post a picture later when I am on the computer that has the pictures on it. (Love, Love, Love this laptop)

Anywho... I'll be back again to post.

Day 29

This post comes from.... the comfort of my couch! Yes, my laptop arrived today. It would have been here yesterday, but we weren't here for the delivery. So FedEx delivered the computer today. I am so excited to be able to blog anywhere in the house and most likely anywhere in my cul-de-sac. Tomorrow my "skin" arrives via UPS and the USPS. It's purple. I was debating about going with a pink cover, but I really am not a pink person. So I went with purple.

So I am sure you're wondering how my day went today.

Today was a very good day. I woke up this morning on time… which is a first for me. I pressed the snooze button twice instead of the four or five times I normally do. I got ready and even had a nice little breakfast before heading off to work. Work was work. One of my co-workers bought some coffee. I think I had not even 1/6 of it and I started feeling really really jittery. Then we had our shift bid results posted for the next 6 months. I got my third choice which was a Tuesday through Saturday
5a-1:30p shift. It was not the shift I really wanted. That made my stomach
really upset. (more on that later) All through this I was also dealing with
back spasms. Every so often, my lower back would just “tweak” out. It got so bad that
I took an early extended lunch.

I went home and called the nurse to see if it would be okay if I could take Tylenol since I am going in for port surgery on Wednesday. Needless to say, I finally got my answer at 3:30 in the afternoon. Dr. L was worried that it was a urinary tract infection. But I know better. I know what those feel like. And they don’t want me to take Tylenol because it will mask a fever. If I get a fever, Tylenol will lower my
temperature and it’s very important that I call if my temp gets over 100.5. So
the end result, Dr. L thinks that my muscle spasms are because of the Neulasta
shot I got a week ago. I made sure that I was stretching my back and standing
made it feel better. So I stood a lot at work today. Needless to say, my spasms
are starting to decrease. But that was the only woe I had today… regarding my
health.

Now for the shift bids. Every six months supervisors have to go through shift bids along with the agents. I thought with me being in the top 10, I would get my first or second choice. WRONG! I got my third choice which was a shift T-Sa 5a-1:30p. I was devastated. I didn’t want the shift because I need a Monday through Friday for chemo treatments and other things. In addition with Brad back at work, he works
Sunday through Tuesday/Wednesday which would mean that we would not have a day
off together. That’s not good. Anyway after stressing about it for half a day,
I finally managed to swap my shift with another supervisor. So now I am working
Monday through Friday from 4a-12:30p. That was the original shift I wanted to
work. If she didn’t switch with me, there was another supervisor, Christi, who
would have switched with me. She is the supervisor that knows I’ve got breast
cancer. She said if the other supervisor didn’t switch with me, she would have
because she knew how important it was for me to have the M-F shift. I thought
that was soooo super sweet of her.

Other than that, it was another run of the mill day. I love my new computer. I just love the fact I can go anywhere and still be connected. I can watch MLB Network with him and still be able to check facebook. I may… just may… let him use my laptop! Hee hee hee!

Day 28

Chemo Class. Learned about the effects of chemo.

Worked today. Had a fantastic day.

No medication at all.

Be back later for more updates. I'm hungry and my pulled BBQ chicken sammies are waiting and calling my name. I'm staaaaaarving!

Here's the recipe for the sammies (courtesy of Annie... mwah!)
2 frozen chicken breasts
1 jar/container of your favorite bbq sauce (16oz)
1 onion

Throw the chicken in a crock pot. Slice up the onions and throw them on top of the chicken. Pour your BBQ sauce over the chicken and onion. Set the crock pot for 4, 6, or 8 hours. When it's done, take two forks and pull the chicken breast apart. Stir. Put the crock pot on high for another 30 minutes. Spoon onto your favorite dinner roll, eat and enjoy.

******UPDATE*******

Okay, my tummy is now full and I am able to concentrate. :)

So today I went to work and it was a great day. I feel strong and alive. Most of the nausea was gone. Every once in awhile I would have a quick little wave of it, but it was mostly due to the fact I was hungry. I got to work at about 5... so about a half hour late, but I figured that I was pretty darn close to being at work on time. I worked until 8 and then I had to leave for my chemo class.

Chemo class was good. It was very informative. They talked about feelings and how we may feel during this time of transition. They also talked about groups that are out there for us to explore. I liked the fact that a dietician came to the class and talked about what foods were good for us to eat and why we shouldn't eat too much of a "good" thing. Apparently, if you eat yourself heavy with anti-oxident rich foods, cancer likes those chemical compounds. I also found that I can eat Flintstone vitamins. Yummy! Chewables. They stressed drink lots and lots of fluids. Stay away from alcohol, teas and coffee. They say you can drink it, but in moderation. So my morning cuppa joe won't hurt me. :) Phew! We had a nurse come in and talk about the side effects of chemo. This was all stuff I knew about. Heh heh heh! The nausea, hair loss, diarrhea, etc. She also talked about when to call the doctor. The most informative part of the class was what your first chemo treatment would be like. She outlined that it would be a lot of hurry up and wait. First they do a blood draw, then wait for the results, then wait for the pharmacy to mix up your special chemo concoction, then wait some more, then verify who you are and what you're taking, then wait some more, then wait a little more for the chemo to drip inside your veins. This was "old hat" to me! :) Chemo treatments can take anywhere from 8 minutes to 8 hours. Wow, 8 hours! That's crazy. I know that my chemo - adriamycin - only takes about 8 minutes to administer. Brad and I also got to see what the port was going to look like. I'm not looking forward to the day surgery... it in fact frightens me to some degree. But I don't want an IV every time I need chemo. They suck.

Following the chemo class, Brad and I stuck around to talk to one of the ladies from OHSU, Kerry. There was another couple in the class sitting across from us. As everyone filed out of the room, the lady (about my age) just broke down in tears. I wanted to go across the room and give her a big hug and tell her that it will be okay. I just felt so bad for her. That was me just two weeks ago. Now I look at where I am... first round of chemo done and feeling good. I know that I will have a few bad days, but the good days are what keeps me going. And those bad days are not forever. :) Positive thinking.

We also found out from Kerry that Dr. Luoh wasn't taking any more new patients. She said that she had someone that she wanted to refer to Dr. L, but he said that he wasn't taking any more people. That's interesting. Because then she said that she saw my name on the manifest that Dr. L was my oncologist. I am wondering if I got some strings pulled because of Shellie. If so... thank you Shellie. I love my oncologist!

Following the chemo class, Brad and I went out for lunch at the Old Spaghetti Factory. We rushed through it, but I was craving the salad and bread. It was so delicious. Then it was back to work for a few more hours. I don't love work, but I love the fact that I can go to work and be a functioning human being.

Tonight has been a great night. I feel so normal. I don't even feel like I had chemo. I don't know if it's the honeymoon period, or if this is the way I am going to feel on 8 Days Past Chemo (DPC). I am hoping that it's just the way I am going to feel always at 8DPC. Again, I took absolutely no medication today except for Zyrtec at Dr. L's insistence.

On a fun note, my computer has arrived. However, we were at chemo class when FedEx tried to deliver it. So they will try to deliver again tomorrow. I can't wait to get it.

I want to say a special thank you to those who have sent me cards, flowers (mom & Vern, Aunt Patti & Uncle Billy, Uncle Ronny & Debbie, Uncle Paul & Aunt Lorraine, Sheila & Don) and a fruit bouquet (Suzanne, Bernie & Charles). Love all of it.

I think that's it! Until tomorrow... (maybe I'll be posting from the family room via wifi!)

Day 27

Day 27... seven days past the first treatment. 7 days in to this cruel fate of mine. 7 days of hell I don't have to endure anymore. 7!

Enough of that. So today I went into work for a little bit. I didn't stay too long as I was starting to get nauseated from all the people who needed to talk to me or wanted to say something. I wasn't feeling it. Maybe I need to reconsidered taking a lump FMLA instead of intermittent. We shall see.

No up-chucking today. Been taking meds. I like atavan. Makes me feel good and not anxious. Anxious about what? Getting sick, the port procedure next week, the next round of chemo. Um, those are all things I am anxious about.

Today has been good. Brad has been home so he's been taking care of the girls. We got some couch time this afternoon and vegged. It was nice. I've been vegging all week long, but to do it with someone else was fantastic.

Last night I did manage to make dinner. I made noodles with meatballs. They were yummy and when I was done with dinner, I was so full. Oh yes, too much info... but when you're not feeling right in the tummy, suppositories are wonderful! That's all I'll say about that.

Laptop is scheduled to arrive next Wednesday! I want it now! Oh well...

Oh yes, before I was interrupted by my husband... I found out that my port placement is going to be done with Dr. Pommier. Why is this so important you ask? Dr. Pommier's younger siblings used to babysit Brad! Small world. So on Wednesday if all goes well and my blood is good, I will be going under the knife with the kid who watched Brad... or there abouts.

Day 26

Wow! I feel like a cult! I have 7 followers!

So day 26 or Day 6 is just like day 5. Same crap, just different day. Today I did manage to venture out to the grocery store. I was jonesing White Castle. That hit the spot. Maybe it was my need for some iron. Who knows.

Woke up this morning feeling pretty good. But then I thought I need to get ahead of the nausea, so I took a pill. That made me feel worse. So I threw up. And I did it a second time. But not nearly as bad as the other few days. Each day I can feel body getting better, recovering from Day 4. I can honestly say that Day 4 will be my worst and when I will need the most help around the house. Luckily I can depend on such wonderful neighbors and friends.

Yesterday I ran into my neighbor, Jen across the street. I was grabbing my mail when she came by. I just broke down in tears when I saw her face. I know I am strong but when I see worry in others' faces, it makes me worry and fear. I don't know how to explain it. It just is.

Anyway, my friend at work who I told about breast cancer texted me today. She says everyone misses me. They keep asking her where I am. They think I am pregnant! Ha! I wish.

Other than that, will be picking up the girls later from Becky's. They were there all day yesterday. Becky had them from breakfast through dinner. I so appreciate that Becky. Thank you for keeping them when I was feeling yucky.

I also want to say thank you for the cards, flowers, texts, well wishes and etc. They make me strong and make me feel not so alone in this fight.

Love to all!

PS Hoping my computer comes next Monday!

Day 25

5 Days past first round of chemo.

So far today has been going so much better than yesterday. My major accomplishment... getting into the car and going to get some Taco Bell. I was craving bean and cheese burritos. It is the only thing that I can manage to get down and stay down. Go with what you know right?

Much more other stuff to talk about... port is scheduled for 2/15. Have to go in and get blood work down on 2/14. The nurse called me and said that the way to stop the nausea is to be on top of it and take the medication all the time. She says it's not forever and that they can change the medication if it's not doing what it needs to be doing. So far it's okay. I'm not complaining. I am not tossing my cookies all the time.

Speaking of which, I did toss my cookies in my sink. That was a treat. Never mind that... now my sink is all nice and clean. It needed a nice cleaning. I did dry heave earlier this morning, but that was before I had anything to eat. So now I have crackers in my night stand for those times where my tummy is not so good.

I'll be back later with more. I just wanted to post something for today. I wish I had my lap top now. It would be so much easier to post. :)

Day 24

Day 24 bites ass!

As you can see, I didn't even make it to the computer yesterday to type in an entry. Well, now I know that Day 4 of treatment will be the day where I am going to be sucking wind all day.

It started the night before. I finally took a pill at 2a to settle the stomach. Then I got up and was nauseated all over again. I managed to eat a little around 630a before the kids got up. I wanted to see if I could do without the dexomethotrate, but I couldn't. I ended up taking that medicine around 11a. But before I did that, I took a comprozine (yes, I intend to have spelling errors. I will clean them up later). After I took that, I tossed my cookies three times in the toilet. Nice. It had barely been in my body for 45 minutes when I threw up. I spoke to my mom and cried silently with her on the phone. It just sucks. I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and die. I don't like feeling like death. It's not good and having two little kids it pains me to see them wanting to play with me.

Fortunately after I hung up with my mom, Nancy called (mom called Nancy). Nancy came over for about 3 1/2 hours and watched the kids and gave them lunch. She was my savior. During that time I managed to take a little nap, drink and eat some macaroni and cheese. It was the only thing that sounded good. At about 1:45p, Nancy got the kids in bed and I was left home alone with the napping girls. It was good. Amelia got up and I was feeling better, not 100%, but good enough to converse and play princesses with her. Next Elaina got up and then it was time to make dinner. Yummy, hot dogs and fries. I needed something easy.

Brad got home around 715p and helped put the girls in bed. I got ready for bed, took an atavan and fell asleep.

Oh, yes, I did manage to get 3 loads of wash done, too!

Thank you to Jack and Nancy who watched the girls and took Emmy. Thanks to Bill who stopped by with some milk and gatorade. Thank you to everyone who has been helping out. Much love to you all.

Day 23

This bites. Feeling icky. Started when I went to bed last night. Took some anti-nausea medication and then went to bed. Felt better. But still had the barf can by my bed.

This morning, I've been up and down. Took another anti-nausea pill. Still feel like crap. Dry heaved in the sink. Nothing came out. Thank goodness the kids are out of the house. I want to feel good again. But I know this comes as a packaged deal. Bleh. Can I fast forward this part?

Day 22

Today has gone as well as expected.

Last night I was up all night peeing like a race horse. All that water... well, it has to go somewhere. So I've got a little routine down, as I have to flush the toilet twice for five days after receiving chemo. I go, flush, wash my hands, then flush again. The toilet tank refills in the time it takes for me to wash my hands. I feel that's a good routine.

This morning I woke up and got ready for work. I was in at my normal time of 430. I ate my breakfast cereal and half a peanut bar and took my first dose of the all day anti-nausea medication. Hee hee, the side effects included dizziness. So I went home at 7a. I came home ate, then took about an hour and a half nap. When I woke up I felt so much better. I had a snack and then went back to work. At work I had a snack. I stayed at work until 2p to get stuff taken care of. But that whole last hour I was at work, I was thinking of food. Yep, another size effect - increased appetite. Heck, I'll take it. Got home at 2:10 and ate some yummy left overs before heading out to my Neulasta injection.

Before I left, I got a call from OHSU. My port surgery is scheduled for 2/15. I don't know a time yet, but I'll receive a call the day before with the time. So my port will be going in the day before my next chemo treatment. Hooray... I think.

My neulasta injection appointment was at 3p. I got there and it was so nice not having to drive to downtown Portland because I didn't want to drive back in rush hour traffic. NOT GOOD. I got there, and they couldn't find my order. But somehow, someway, they found it and I got my injection. I didn't realize that I could get it in my arm or my stomach. I opted for stomach because the nurse said that it was less painful there. It didn't hurt. Then I had to stay for 5 minutes because they wanted to monitor me for any allergic reaction. None this time. While I was there, the office manager and I started talking. She showed me the infusion room. It was nice and cheerful, but I don't want to move my chemo closer to home. I want to keep my doctor.

When I got home I made some measurements of how much I was drinking. Dr. L wants me to drink 2-3 liters a day. That's 96-100 ounces. Today so far I have drank 110 ounces and it's only 4:25! I think I will surpass that. But it's important for me to drink a lot of water... one to keep me hydrated and two it will get the chemo out of my body and the liver doesn't have to work so hard to process it out of my system.

So... in closing... it has been a decent day. I am waiting for the real crappy days to come. I hear they are just around the corner... like day 3-8 or so. That would mean Sunday. Sunday is Brad's first day to work and my first day of being alone with two girls and doing chemo at the same time. We'll see how much stuff gets done. I am also expecting on Sunday for my bones to hurt. That's when the neulasta kicks in and when my bones will start to ache (bone marrow starts reproducing and making white and red blood cells).

Day 21 - Round 1

Let me first say, Thank you everyone! Thank you for your support and concern as I go through this chemo crap. Secondly, I'm soooo tired right now (more on that later).

So I went into work today. I took a half day because my chemo appointment wasn't until 10. Got to OHSU and got in right away. They took my vitals, weight, blood pressure and temperature. All good. :) Then Dr. Luoh came in to talk to me. We talked about the chemo that was about to be injected in me. We went over side effects that Angie, his nurse had gone over with me the night prior. I also had a few questions for him... could I take tylenol or ibuprofen? Tylenol it is. I asked him to fill out a FML(A) claim for me and we talked about wigs. He said that he can write me a prescription for it. I told him that I needed a letter stating it was a medical necessity in order for my insurance to cover it. Whoop! Then he had trouble because the medical assistant who took my vitals weighed me wrong. So I had to get re-weighed. Then I had to get measured. See, in order for the perfect mixology of my chemo, they dose it according to height and weight. They don't want me under medicated or over medicated. Following that debacle, I had to undress so the doctor could take a look at the lump in my boob, armpit and neck.

Next... I moved to the treatment side. It was about 11. I got to meet John who was a hoot and holler! He took my vitals again. Following John, I got Net. She was sweet. She put my IV line in and also took my blood. While I was waiting for the results to come back, she started pushing saline into my vein. After that, it was anti-nausea medication. That was pumped in my IV. Then it was time for my chemo. I also took a whole bunch of pills for anti-nausea as well. (yes, all that was prep work). The first one was the adriamycin. It's red and it turns my pee pink. She started pushing it in (by hand). About 1 minute later my arm started itching. Uh-oh. She stopped immediately and called Dr. Luoh. I was having an allergic reaction to it. So then they put 50mg of benadryl in my IV. Uh-oh. That made me feel really really really light headed. I didn't feel so great. So then they let me wait about 20 minutes before resuming treatment. I had to take two vials of the stuff. The second time around it was better. During this reaction time, I was told that I should have a full stomach when I take the anti-nausea medication. Uh, that would have been helpful! So I ate my lunch while sitting there. After about another 15-20 minutes the nausea went away. Following the adriamycin, it was time for the cytoxin. That was through my IV. That was only a half hour. Dr. L came back to check on me to make sure I wasn't having a reaction again. He told me that I should start taking Zyrtec regularly for the remainder of my treatment to help stop the allergic reaction. If it doesn't work he may have to change my treatment. I was then told that I had to wait another hour after the cytoxin was finished because they wanted to observe me to make sure I was okay.

During my one hour wait, I got a foot massage. There's a wonderful lady who volunteers and gives massages to people getting treatment. We chatted for awhile and she told me that she's certified to give treatment for people who have lymphodema. Interesting. Lymphodema is a risk to patients who have their lymph nodes removed. The lymph nodes work to removed fluid from where ever and to filter the bad stuff out. So if it gets backed up, the arm could swell.

When my hour was up, I was ready to go. Since I was hydrating like crazy, I think I went to the bathroom about 4 times! My next treatment is on 2/16 at 12p. We'll see what happens then. We will also see what's to come in the next two weeks.

Oh yes, I did shed some tears while I was there. My IV was bothering me and I didn't know if it was bad. I became a hypocondriac. Every twitch is now a menace because it could lead to something else. My nurse was so nice though. She said it's okay. And when I left, she said that she took my chemo virginity! Wish I could take it back! I will celebrate Round 1 complete when I make it to 2/15.

Right now I am feeling really really tired from the benadryl, but other than that I am feeling good.

Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment at 3p to get my Neulasta shot to boost my bone marrow to produce good healthy blood cells.

Well, I am pretty much pooped out... so until tomorrow....

Day 20

Final countdown! Yipee!

Tomorrow I have my first round of chemo. I am planning on going to work and then leaving at 9a to go to my appointment. Nobody would have called me if I hadn't called the nurse. I had one very important question... and that was... where am I going? She said that was very important for me to know. We also did a chemo class over the phone. It was just basics: side effects and what to look for while I take the drugs.

I'll explain more tomorrow. But it's been a great day. :)