This picture was taken about a week ago, so it may be just a smidge longer than what it was in the picture. But you get the jist.
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| It's coming in thick and straight! |
Showing posts with label hair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hair. Show all posts
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Day 221 - Hair
My hair is rapidly growing. Here's a picture of what it looks like now....
This picture was taken about a week ago, so it may be just a smidge longer than what it was in the picture. But you get the jist.
I've gotten tons of compliments on my hair... and especially since we just went through 90+ weather...
This picture was taken about a week ago, so it may be just a smidge longer than what it was in the picture. But you get the jist.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Day 209 - Radiation #3: Field in Field & a hair cut!
Yes! Did you see the title of my post?? I got a hair cut today. After radiation, I drove over to Moxie and Christine cut my hair. She was the one who cut my hair off back in February. My hair was a little unruly. It was growing over my ears and very scraggly on my neck. So now it looks nice. Now I will take a picture and post it. Yes, I know it's been awhile since my last hair post. But Christine was shocked at how much hair I have and how thick and "colorful" it was already.
So I got to radiation today. Dan and Linea were ready for me for my fun fact... so here goes.
Fact #3: My radiation is Field in Field. So basically the machine gets in place and radiates a portion of my breast. Without moving, the MLCs (Fact #2) change shape, thus changing the field of radiation within the original area. That new area is then radiated. Think of it as a circle within a circle! This technique is used to make sure the dose distribution is more uniform. Click on the link and you'll get a more clinical answer.
Radiation is so quick. I get there, get undressed and wait for a few minutes. Then it's back to the radiation room, get on the table, grab the "oh shit bar" above your head and then get radiated. The longest dose of radiation I get is about 20 seconds worth. The shortest is about 5 seconds... and that's in the supraclavicular area. Yes, I count how long I hear the buzzing.
Other than that, nothing much to report. I like getting these fun facts. I hope you're enjoying it too. It's funny, Dan was asking Linea if they could get CE (continuing education) credit for this. They've also got a list going of what to teach me. This is gonna be good! They told me more stuff, but I promised them I wouldn't share yet! LOL
So I got to radiation today. Dan and Linea were ready for me for my fun fact... so here goes.
Fact #3: My radiation is Field in Field. So basically the machine gets in place and radiates a portion of my breast. Without moving, the MLCs (Fact #2) change shape, thus changing the field of radiation within the original area. That new area is then radiated. Think of it as a circle within a circle! This technique is used to make sure the dose distribution is more uniform. Click on the link and you'll get a more clinical answer.
Radiation is so quick. I get there, get undressed and wait for a few minutes. Then it's back to the radiation room, get on the table, grab the "oh shit bar" above your head and then get radiated. The longest dose of radiation I get is about 20 seconds worth. The shortest is about 5 seconds... and that's in the supraclavicular area. Yes, I count how long I hear the buzzing.
Other than that, nothing much to report. I like getting these fun facts. I hope you're enjoying it too. It's funny, Dan was asking Linea if they could get CE (continuing education) credit for this. They've also got a list going of what to teach me. This is gonna be good! They told me more stuff, but I promised them I wouldn't share yet! LOL
Monday, August 6, 2012
Day 205 - A little hair & PT
What an awesome day I had! Yes... it was a good day. Today was the first day that I wore no fake hair to work! Yep, I ditched the wig. Last Friday was the last day that I told myself I was going to wear it. It felt so good not putting on the fake hair. Plus, I didn't get hot! I think that's a big part of my hot flashes at work... the darn wig. I mean, it's like having a hat on at work. So, lots of people said I looked really good. A few women said I looked like a model and other said the style was super chic. Even a guy said that he liked my new coif. :) But it felt very liberating coming to work without something on top of my head. Now I just need to get it cut and colored. If you're wondering, it's about an inch long. Some places it's shorter. Other places a little longer. And it's straight. Straight, straight, straight. No curl. And the texture is about the same as my old hair.
On another hair note, I am just getting over a cold... and I have found that when I didn't have nose hairs, the snot got out much easier. Now that I have nose hair, the snot seems to stick in my nose. Most annoying. Yea, it's a little thing. But I'll get over it.
Today at physical therapy for my cording, my range of motion is improving. I can now go to about 170 degrees in either direction/stretch. I will almost be discharged. I find that the finger walking exercises help the most. That's where you stand facing a wall and then walk your fingers up it while keeping your shoulder down. I can get it almost stretched flush with the wall... or the door jamb in my case because my boobies won't squish down. I do the same thing, but do it so I am standing parallel to the wall stretching my arm out to the side. I can now do "carpet" angels. So exciting to do that on the floor with my two girls. The cording is still there, but it's not as huge. Up in my armpit, it's hard to find and definitely can't see it. If you poke around, you can find it in my arm and definitely in the crook of my arm. It's very thin like a piano or a guitar string. But it's not limiting me anymore. I can do most everything. Every so often, it hurts to stretch my arm - but that's mainly when I am stretching to get something on the top shelf of a cupboard.
Tomorrow I start my first of 28 radiation treatments. Sooo excited to start. It's the beginning of the end. I'll have to put a ticker on my blog to show the countdown! Hee hee! Other than that, I will surely post everything about radiation. I plan to tell you what happened at the mapping, too.
On another hair note, I am just getting over a cold... and I have found that when I didn't have nose hairs, the snot got out much easier. Now that I have nose hair, the snot seems to stick in my nose. Most annoying. Yea, it's a little thing. But I'll get over it.
Today at physical therapy for my cording, my range of motion is improving. I can now go to about 170 degrees in either direction/stretch. I will almost be discharged. I find that the finger walking exercises help the most. That's where you stand facing a wall and then walk your fingers up it while keeping your shoulder down. I can get it almost stretched flush with the wall... or the door jamb in my case because my boobies won't squish down. I do the same thing, but do it so I am standing parallel to the wall stretching my arm out to the side. I can now do "carpet" angels. So exciting to do that on the floor with my two girls. The cording is still there, but it's not as huge. Up in my armpit, it's hard to find and definitely can't see it. If you poke around, you can find it in my arm and definitely in the crook of my arm. It's very thin like a piano or a guitar string. But it's not limiting me anymore. I can do most everything. Every so often, it hurts to stretch my arm - but that's mainly when I am stretching to get something on the top shelf of a cupboard.
Tomorrow I start my first of 28 radiation treatments. Sooo excited to start. It's the beginning of the end. I'll have to put a ticker on my blog to show the countdown! Hee hee! Other than that, I will surely post everything about radiation. I plan to tell you what happened at the mapping, too.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Day 191 - Out of Retirement...
My shampoo has made a triumphant return! This weekend I started using shampoo again to clean my hair. I have a lot of it... it's really thick and straight. I am enjoying it.
I am now down to two PT appointments a week, so that's good. Today's appointment is at 6p. So I will be leaving in a few minutes. My arm is doing better. I just need to remember to stretch it all the time otherwise it does get sore and tight again (cording issues).
Today I got an insurance statement and it said Cigna wasn't going to pay for the tissue expanders. But I am not at fault... otherwise that would be $1296 out of my pocket. Apparently, the doctor's office was supposed to get that preapproved. So if they didn't do it, then they have to eat the cost, not me. Phew! I didn't want a huge bill. Speaking of tissue expanders... after battling it all weekend, I am getting some comfort today. My chest doesn't hurt so much. However, I did have to take two ibuprofen this morning to get me loosened up and not so stiff. Maybe tomorrow I will feel good. I wonder what size I am. Hmmm.... maybe I will have to measure. :)
Other than that... this week it's PT and a fill. Next week it's more PT, maybe a fill and getting ready for radiation.
I am now down to two PT appointments a week, so that's good. Today's appointment is at 6p. So I will be leaving in a few minutes. My arm is doing better. I just need to remember to stretch it all the time otherwise it does get sore and tight again (cording issues).
Today I got an insurance statement and it said Cigna wasn't going to pay for the tissue expanders. But I am not at fault... otherwise that would be $1296 out of my pocket. Apparently, the doctor's office was supposed to get that preapproved. So if they didn't do it, then they have to eat the cost, not me. Phew! I didn't want a huge bill. Speaking of tissue expanders... after battling it all weekend, I am getting some comfort today. My chest doesn't hurt so much. However, I did have to take two ibuprofen this morning to get me loosened up and not so stiff. Maybe tomorrow I will feel good. I wonder what size I am. Hmmm.... maybe I will have to measure. :)
Other than that... this week it's PT and a fill. Next week it's more PT, maybe a fill and getting ready for radiation.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Day 166 - Tissue Expanders (and pictures)
Today I had a follow up appointment with the reconstructive team. The appointment was for the removal of the last drain, but since I had that taken out on Monday, it became my first Fill appointment! I decided to keep the appointment just in case and to have the doctor or whoever it was look at my incisions and stuff. Lucky me, I got Jason again. Jason said that my wounds look good and everything is healing nicely. I did have some questions for him.
1. There's a place on my chest wall (near the cleavage area) where on the right side it feels awful, dull ache or pain... is it normal? He says that it's normal. It can be from the tissue expander and that with a fill, it can get better or it can get worse. However, there is a drug that can help with that soreness. It's called, Gabapentin, and what it does is blocks the nerve receptors by blocking the sodium. This drug is something that I would take on a regular basis three times a day for several weeks.
2. Are there any specific excercises I should be doing with the shoulder and arm because I am dealing with cording or Axillary Web Syndrome (AWS)? He says that I should be walking my fingers up the wall. When it starts to hurt, I need to back down and then stretch the arm/shoulder that way. Then the next time, I can go a little further. It should not hurt when stretching.
3. Chest wall tightness, how long will it be that way? He says it is normal for the chest wall to be tight for several months. He says that the swollen chest area can last for several weeks and it will take time to heal. For the next 6 weeks I shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting. He says that after 6 weeks, my incisions are only 70% healed and strong enough. That's amazing!
4. Shower facing front? He says that now that I am two weeks past surgery, I can face front and let the water hit my chest. Before, I showered with the nozzle pointed at my back. It's a little hard to wash off the soap that way. :-)
5. Muscle spasms - He says that I could have muscle spasms. They can bet treated with valium or ativan. Interesting... ativan. I had a big one last night as I was walking into a store. I thought there was a bug crawling on me or in me. It freaked the heck out of me!
Then it was time to get my first of several fills. So my tissue expanders are 350cc's. They expand them even bigger than that... about 20% bigger after I say "Done." When I was reading my pathology report, I did see that the weight of my breast tissue they took out was about 220g or so. But breast tissue goes under the arm and up the chest. So who knows how much breast tissue would have made the "cup" size. Basically, it looks like my tissue expanders will be going to about 420cc's when all is said and done. I am just going for a full C cup. That's all I really want. I liked my B, but it didn't fit some of the clothes I had. So my first fill was 25cc's. Jason used the medical "stud finder" which has a strong magnet on it to find the port. He searched for it on the vertical and horizontal access. I told him where it will most likely be because I can feel the port area through my skin. I was right on the mark too! Then when he found it, he was going to disinfect the area with betadine... um, no! That's a derivative of iodine. He laughed and said, "That's right. I saw you were allergic to it." Then he used alcohol. Next he took a long needle (like the needle for an epidural) and poked me. I didn't feel the poke, but the poke was uncomfortable because it was going right into the tissue expander (TE). Then he retracted some fluid - it came out blue. Dr. Thaker likes to put a dye in the expander so when they expand, they know they've hit their mark. Then he started the fill very slowly... one cc at a time. Finally he was done. I could feel the TE getting ever so much bigger. My breast does feel a bit heavier. Then it was time for the left side. Again, I hit my mark with where the port was. He also looked at my little blister on my chest. He said it's healing nicely, but wants it to be a little more healed before they start injecting 100cc's into the TE. That's fine by me! So while he was injecting the saline in the left breast, I could feel my skin expanding a bit. So far, my boobies feel good. But we'll see what tomorrow brings. Jason says that tomorrow I could be feeling sore. But today I feel great. No pain, no gain right?
And as I promised, here are a few pictures:
So, there you have it. My mom left on her flight today back to Arizona, so it's nice to have a quiet house. I can relax and take a nap! :)
Until next time... oh yes, my next appointment for an expand is next Thursday!
1. There's a place on my chest wall (near the cleavage area) where on the right side it feels awful, dull ache or pain... is it normal? He says that it's normal. It can be from the tissue expander and that with a fill, it can get better or it can get worse. However, there is a drug that can help with that soreness. It's called, Gabapentin, and what it does is blocks the nerve receptors by blocking the sodium. This drug is something that I would take on a regular basis three times a day for several weeks.
2. Are there any specific excercises I should be doing with the shoulder and arm because I am dealing with cording or Axillary Web Syndrome (AWS)? He says that I should be walking my fingers up the wall. When it starts to hurt, I need to back down and then stretch the arm/shoulder that way. Then the next time, I can go a little further. It should not hurt when stretching.
3. Chest wall tightness, how long will it be that way? He says it is normal for the chest wall to be tight for several months. He says that the swollen chest area can last for several weeks and it will take time to heal. For the next 6 weeks I shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting. He says that after 6 weeks, my incisions are only 70% healed and strong enough. That's amazing!
4. Shower facing front? He says that now that I am two weeks past surgery, I can face front and let the water hit my chest. Before, I showered with the nozzle pointed at my back. It's a little hard to wash off the soap that way. :-)
5. Muscle spasms - He says that I could have muscle spasms. They can bet treated with valium or ativan. Interesting... ativan. I had a big one last night as I was walking into a store. I thought there was a bug crawling on me or in me. It freaked the heck out of me!
Then it was time to get my first of several fills. So my tissue expanders are 350cc's. They expand them even bigger than that... about 20% bigger after I say "Done." When I was reading my pathology report, I did see that the weight of my breast tissue they took out was about 220g or so. But breast tissue goes under the arm and up the chest. So who knows how much breast tissue would have made the "cup" size. Basically, it looks like my tissue expanders will be going to about 420cc's when all is said and done. I am just going for a full C cup. That's all I really want. I liked my B, but it didn't fit some of the clothes I had. So my first fill was 25cc's. Jason used the medical "stud finder" which has a strong magnet on it to find the port. He searched for it on the vertical and horizontal access. I told him where it will most likely be because I can feel the port area through my skin. I was right on the mark too! Then when he found it, he was going to disinfect the area with betadine... um, no! That's a derivative of iodine. He laughed and said, "That's right. I saw you were allergic to it." Then he used alcohol. Next he took a long needle (like the needle for an epidural) and poked me. I didn't feel the poke, but the poke was uncomfortable because it was going right into the tissue expander (TE). Then he retracted some fluid - it came out blue. Dr. Thaker likes to put a dye in the expander so when they expand, they know they've hit their mark. Then he started the fill very slowly... one cc at a time. Finally he was done. I could feel the TE getting ever so much bigger. My breast does feel a bit heavier. Then it was time for the left side. Again, I hit my mark with where the port was. He also looked at my little blister on my chest. He said it's healing nicely, but wants it to be a little more healed before they start injecting 100cc's into the TE. That's fine by me! So while he was injecting the saline in the left breast, I could feel my skin expanding a bit. So far, my boobies feel good. But we'll see what tomorrow brings. Jason says that tomorrow I could be feeling sore. But today I feel great. No pain, no gain right?
And as I promised, here are a few pictures:
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| Getting ready for surgery (I had my boobies!) |
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| Post mastectomy (the very next day). You can see the drains attached to the side of my gown. |
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| Here's my pain ball, which became a pain in the neck. |
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| These are the little "soaker hose" tubes that were wrapped in my breast cavity. About 12" was inside of me and if you looked closely, you could see the little holes! |
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| This is what the tissue expander looks like. The round port is metal. That's where the saline is injected. This demo one is 750cc's. |
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| Here's a silicone implant. They now have "gummi" implants which are now being used in Europe. |
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| Here's the medical "Stud Finder". Magnet is on the right. |
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| Here's how much hair I have... I actually have more. This picture was taken just a few days ago, if you can believe it. |
Until next time... oh yes, my next appointment for an expand is next Thursday!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Day 165 - Still healing from mastectomy
It's nearly 2 weeks since the double mastectomy and I am still healing. Sometimes I wish I could self heal in the matter of moments... but alas I am not Wolverine or an angel! Ha! But I am getting better.
Monday I went back to the doctor... or tried. The PA was not in on Monday... it was his day off, so I had to see Christine, the nurse navigator who said she'd pull my drain if they weren't available. So at 1p, I went to see her! While I waited, I saw Brooke and she and I chatted for about 15 minutes. So nice to see her. She's awesome. I thanked her for getting Dr. Naik involved in getting me a private room. She thought I looked great. We were chatting so long that they paged her because they were looking for me! Ha! Then I went and saw Christine. I had emailed the team about my lymph node in my neck, wondering if it was clear of cancer and how they would figure that out. Christine told me that Dr. Naik isn't concerned about that node and believes it's cancer free. But she said that she would put in an order to get a new PET scan done so I can confirm it just for peace of mind. I said thank you and would like that done. Then she took out my drain and helped me get into a T-shirt. It was nice wearing a shirt that didn't have a holder for a drain. It feels so good to walk around without a drain, too! :)
Yesterday, my mom and I had a mother-daughter day. It was so nice. We went and had a manicure/pedicure. Then went and had lunch followed by shopping! My mom got the mani and I got the deluxe pedi. We went shopping and I got a few tank tops that has the built in bra, a t-shirt, skirt and a v-neck dress. All the clothes fit perfect. And the tank tops... I have nice little boobies! Brad says he thinks I came out with the same size boobs as I went in. And the dress... it's a v-neck and you can't see any scar. I want to go and get some more of those tank tops. I like them a lot... they are so soft. And the skirt is very cute too. Oh yes, and I showered on my own. No more drains!
Today just hanging out with mom and the girls. The weather is nice, so they will be going outside to play in a few and I plan on working from home. I've got an appointment for the Physical Therapist who will help me with the cording issue. It's an out of network, so we'll see what happens and how much I will have to pay. If it's too much, then I may go back to Providence Portland's PT and work with them. I have a relationship with them and my former PT says she has counter parts who work with patients with lymphedema and such. So I may give them a call. Other than that... not much else to report. My hair is growing. Mom keeps commenting on it every day. It's now starting to cover the scars on my head. I know that I had to pluck my eyebrows on Sunday! I haven't done that in a long time! Goes to show that my hair is definitely growing in.
Until next time... (oh yes, I promise to post pictures...)
Monday I went back to the doctor... or tried. The PA was not in on Monday... it was his day off, so I had to see Christine, the nurse navigator who said she'd pull my drain if they weren't available. So at 1p, I went to see her! While I waited, I saw Brooke and she and I chatted for about 15 minutes. So nice to see her. She's awesome. I thanked her for getting Dr. Naik involved in getting me a private room. She thought I looked great. We were chatting so long that they paged her because they were looking for me! Ha! Then I went and saw Christine. I had emailed the team about my lymph node in my neck, wondering if it was clear of cancer and how they would figure that out. Christine told me that Dr. Naik isn't concerned about that node and believes it's cancer free. But she said that she would put in an order to get a new PET scan done so I can confirm it just for peace of mind. I said thank you and would like that done. Then she took out my drain and helped me get into a T-shirt. It was nice wearing a shirt that didn't have a holder for a drain. It feels so good to walk around without a drain, too! :)
Yesterday, my mom and I had a mother-daughter day. It was so nice. We went and had a manicure/pedicure. Then went and had lunch followed by shopping! My mom got the mani and I got the deluxe pedi. We went shopping and I got a few tank tops that has the built in bra, a t-shirt, skirt and a v-neck dress. All the clothes fit perfect. And the tank tops... I have nice little boobies! Brad says he thinks I came out with the same size boobs as I went in. And the dress... it's a v-neck and you can't see any scar. I want to go and get some more of those tank tops. I like them a lot... they are so soft. And the skirt is very cute too. Oh yes, and I showered on my own. No more drains!
Today just hanging out with mom and the girls. The weather is nice, so they will be going outside to play in a few and I plan on working from home. I've got an appointment for the Physical Therapist who will help me with the cording issue. It's an out of network, so we'll see what happens and how much I will have to pay. If it's too much, then I may go back to Providence Portland's PT and work with them. I have a relationship with them and my former PT says she has counter parts who work with patients with lymphedema and such. So I may give them a call. Other than that... not much else to report. My hair is growing. Mom keeps commenting on it every day. It's now starting to cover the scars on my head. I know that I had to pluck my eyebrows on Sunday! I haven't done that in a long time! Goes to show that my hair is definitely growing in.
Until next time... (oh yes, I promise to post pictures...)
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Day 151 - Chemo Hair
Getting all set and ready for my surgery in 36 hours or so. Tomorrow is my last day of work until July! Wow! July. Anyway, ready for what's to come. Getting a little nervous. I'm nervous to look down after the surgery and see "nothing". I know I will see something... but it's just a little unnerving. However, I don't have much to begin with, so I am not giving much up anyway. Tomorrow Grammy flies in from Nevada to watch the girls. I also have a 1015 pre-op appointment with Dr. Naik. Then at 12.30, I have a pre-op appointment up on the Hill at the hospital. Dunno what that's about.... but we shall see.
So I keep looking in the mirror at my hair. It's not thick and luscious yet, but it is growing really fast. I mean, it seems like it grows several millimeters overnight. Then this afternoon I looked at my eye lashes... while they are falling out, I am also seeing them grow right back in. They look even thicker, once they become longer. Right now they look like little dots surrounding my eyes. Interesting, eh?
Other than that... not much else to report. I am sure I'll have more to write tomorrow. Until then...
So I keep looking in the mirror at my hair. It's not thick and luscious yet, but it is growing really fast. I mean, it seems like it grows several millimeters overnight. Then this afternoon I looked at my eye lashes... while they are falling out, I am also seeing them grow right back in. They look even thicker, once they become longer. Right now they look like little dots surrounding my eyes. Interesting, eh?
Other than that... not much else to report. I am sure I'll have more to write tomorrow. Until then...
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Day 145 - I'm an old man!
Well, actually, I am not an old man, but I feel like it! Ha! My hair is coming back, but it's really thick around the ears. So I feel like a bald man. And I can see all my gray hairs. I can't wait until it's all back in full and long enough so I can color it!
Not doing much lately. Just enjoying cuddles with the kids. Next Friday is B-day! I'm nervous about it. I won't lie. Most of it is the unknown of what will happen. I'm more concerned about what to expect leading up to the surgery, not necessarily what to expect after the surgery. I've got that taken care of. I hate the fact that I won't know what time my surgery is scheduled until a few days before. I am hoping it's the first one of the day. Ugh. Upon longer reflection... as I sit here staring at the computer... I am most nervous for the fact that I don't want to pee in bed or have a catheter. I want to pee on a toilet. Who is going to help me get there? Will I be able to get to the bathroom? Will I be in too much pain to get there? Stupid, huh? I know it's ridiculous... I mean I peed on the table when delivering Amelia... and who knows what I did with Elaina (she came too quick to notice anything). Dr. Thaker said that I should take 3 walks each five minutes as soon as I can. Does a trip to the loo qualify? Yea, I crack myself up.
Other than that, Happy Birthday Amelia! Just preparing for her birthday party this weekend. It'll be the last time hurrah for me for awhile. :)
Not doing much lately. Just enjoying cuddles with the kids. Next Friday is B-day! I'm nervous about it. I won't lie. Most of it is the unknown of what will happen. I'm more concerned about what to expect leading up to the surgery, not necessarily what to expect after the surgery. I've got that taken care of. I hate the fact that I won't know what time my surgery is scheduled until a few days before. I am hoping it's the first one of the day. Ugh. Upon longer reflection... as I sit here staring at the computer... I am most nervous for the fact that I don't want to pee in bed or have a catheter. I want to pee on a toilet. Who is going to help me get there? Will I be able to get to the bathroom? Will I be in too much pain to get there? Stupid, huh? I know it's ridiculous... I mean I peed on the table when delivering Amelia... and who knows what I did with Elaina (she came too quick to notice anything). Dr. Thaker said that I should take 3 walks each five minutes as soon as I can. Does a trip to the loo qualify? Yea, I crack myself up.
Other than that, Happy Birthday Amelia! Just preparing for her birthday party this weekend. It'll be the last time hurrah for me for awhile. :)
Friday, April 20, 2012
Day 96 - I have hair!
I think I am a Zed. Yes, I likened myself to a Dr. Seuss character. Why? Because I have one hair up on my head. The other night I was looking at my head (which I do quite often) to see if my hair is growing. And it is! I mean I can feel the "five o'clock" shadow. But upon careful examination I found one hair that was about a quarter of an inch long! I pulled at it to see if it would come out fairly easily and it did NOT budge! I can't believe it. So I am happy to say, I have hair!
So Thursday was a good day except for the tingling in my feet and finger tips. That continues to persist. I am wondering if it will ever go away. But I am starting to get used to it... annoying as it may be. Other than that... looking forward to a fun weekend of sun. :)
BTW, blogger has just changed the way it looks... so if things look weird... blame it on the new look!
So Thursday was a good day except for the tingling in my feet and finger tips. That continues to persist. I am wondering if it will ever go away. But I am starting to get used to it... annoying as it may be. Other than that... looking forward to a fun weekend of sun. :)
BTW, blogger has just changed the way it looks... so if things look weird... blame it on the new look!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Day 66
Today wasn't so bad. It wasn't great but it was decent. I stayed home today from work. I worked from home and also "played" from home. I don't mean that I played hookey, but I just spent some time on facebook and searching for dumb things online. I did have a good lunch. I had chicken lo mein. It was good. I didn't finish all of the great meal, so there's still some sitting in the refrigerator waiting for the next time I feel like eating. I did manage to keep my food down for most of the day. But towards the afternoon I started feeling sick again. I managed to keep everything down until after Brad got home. I took an ativan to help with the nausea. I don't know if the nausea is real or self inflicted. I don't know if I am just getting anxious because I know the next round of chemo is just a week away. I mean, the next round should be the easier of the three types of chemo. I guess it's just the unknown. I hate it. I really do. I hate the fact that I have to live day to day in fear of getting sick or not knowing if I will be able to keep something down. I hate the fact that my daughter asks me if I am feeling better or if I am feeling sick. I hate the feeling of being out of control. I am not beating myself up about this issue... it's just something that I am feeling right now. I just don't like being sick. It sucks. I don't like feeling like I'm going to have to run to the bathroom. It's really crazy because I find that water makes me sick and I am supposed to hydrate myself. So I am trying to keep hydrated by drinking juice and soda.
So I was looking at my breast today just before getting into the shower. I am happy but not happy that it continues to change in shape and form. The happy side... the tumor is definitely getting smaller. The nipple continues to pop out and the skin around the nipple is also getting more pliable. I can tell that the tumor is getting smaller because when I touch the tumor it's smaller. I am happy for this. What I don't really like is that since the tumor is getting smaller, my boob is getting smaller. I know silly thing. But I can't believe how tiny I am now! LOL. Thank goodness I will be getting bigger ones soon! hahahaha!
Another funny thing happened today. I was done with my shower and I was drying myself off... and out of habit I took my towel and was going to dry my hair! Ha! I haven't dried any hair in the past 6 weeks. Why would I do that now?
Tonight it was so sweet. I put Elaina down for bed. She was tired. She stared up at me with those big brown eyes and gave me a big smile. I picked her up and got to rock her to sleep. It is the first time in ages that I have gotten to rock her. She put her head on my shoulder and just layed there. She fell asleep on my shoulder. It felt so nice to have her snuggle with me. It made my day.
So I was looking at my breast today just before getting into the shower. I am happy but not happy that it continues to change in shape and form. The happy side... the tumor is definitely getting smaller. The nipple continues to pop out and the skin around the nipple is also getting more pliable. I can tell that the tumor is getting smaller because when I touch the tumor it's smaller. I am happy for this. What I don't really like is that since the tumor is getting smaller, my boob is getting smaller. I know silly thing. But I can't believe how tiny I am now! LOL. Thank goodness I will be getting bigger ones soon! hahahaha!
Another funny thing happened today. I was done with my shower and I was drying myself off... and out of habit I took my towel and was going to dry my hair! Ha! I haven't dried any hair in the past 6 weeks. Why would I do that now?
Tonight it was so sweet. I put Elaina down for bed. She was tired. She stared up at me with those big brown eyes and gave me a big smile. I picked her up and got to rock her to sleep. It is the first time in ages that I have gotten to rock her. She put her head on my shoulder and just layed there. She fell asleep on my shoulder. It felt so nice to have her snuggle with me. It made my day.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Day 48
Now don't freak out... I am okay. Hee hee, now I have you worried! Tomorrow is round 3 of chemo and I am a bit apprehensive about it. I am okay with having it. It means I am just that much closer to the end, but I don't really want to do it because I hate the side effects. I really don't want to feel gross and what not for two to three days. I know it's only 72 hours where I am really not feeling well, but those 72 hours can feel like 72 days. I just dread the side effects. But I know that I can muster through it all. Just give me some encouragement.
Now I have no idea what's going on with my hair. Some of it is growing back, some of it is gone. Gee, if I had left it all on my head, I would have clumps of it still on my head. Just very interesting how the chemo works.
Other than that, just working working working. I am glad I have something to focus on besides this crap. Well, I am tired, so signing off. Will bring the laptop to chemo and maybe take another picture!
Now I have no idea what's going on with my hair. Some of it is growing back, some of it is gone. Gee, if I had left it all on my head, I would have clumps of it still on my head. Just very interesting how the chemo works.
Other than that, just working working working. I am glad I have something to focus on besides this crap. Well, I am tired, so signing off. Will bring the laptop to chemo and maybe take another picture!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Day 40
What a difference a few hours can make. Today marks day 40 since finding out that I have breast cancer. I have two rounds of chemo behind me. And I am starting to feel better.
Yesterday was really horrible. The day before that was really horrible. But now that 4 and 5DPC is behind me, I can say I am in the home stretch of feeling good for the next ten days. I woke up this morning around 3:30. I was feeling really hungry so instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I got up and made myself an english muffin. One side had butter and the other had peanut butter. It was yummy... and it stayed down. I washed that down with 16 ounces of water. That too stayed down. Following my breakfast, I decided to lay down again since I was unsure of the status quo of my gastrointestinal track. I did manage to call my boss and tell him that I would take one more day off to relax and get some rest. He said okay and that was that. I went back to sleep... and got up around 6a. I was a little nauseous, but not enough to take anything for it. I sometimes don't because I am afraid that it's going to make me feel even worse. I asked Brad if there was anything I could do for him.... he said yea, I could get Elaina ready to go. I said sure. I was eager to do something after the last two days I was not eager to do ANYTHING. So I got Elaina ready for the day and kissed the kids good bye. Following that I mosied back upstairs to bed. I flipped on the laptop and started to just surf the internet in bed.
I checked my email from work and personal email. I even got caught up on Facebook. Thank you to everyone who is respecting our wishes and not posting anything on Facebook. I do appreciate it. Around 7, I got hungry again and went downstairs to grab something to eat... yogurt. Yum that was delicious. I wish I had another Boston Creme Pie yogurt. It went down so nice and smooth. I chased that down with water and then apple juice. I have been eating soooo much today. By 8a I was hungry for chicken lo mein. I couldn't believe how hungry I was. I have been eating all day.
I finally got off of the internet around 10 or so. This time I got off to go and run to Safeway to get myself some lo mein. While the lo mein wasn't the greatest, it certainly quenched that desire. I have no more craving for it. Oh, I did forget to mention that while I was online, I was chatting with David on facebook. Sounds like he is going to come over to my house and help me plant my vegetable garden. Sweet! Thanks David!
The rest of the afternoon was spent working on work stuff. I got all my compass coaching in. I listened to all the negative verbatims from work... (just work stuff). I feel accomplished. I need to talk to my GM to see if I can have a laptop so I can VPN into work and gain access to other things I need access to that I can't get from home. We shall see!
I mainly snacked on lo mein all day long. Funny how last round i was jonesing for bean and cheese burritos and this time it's lo mein. Who know what next round will be... chicken bowl from KFC? LOL. I managed to take a shower too! I took a washcloth into the shower and began to scrub my head. My hair is finally falling out. It looks like Brad shaved! There are little hairs all over the place. In any case... the hair is falling out on top of my head as well as.... ahem. ;-) I told you this blog would be a no holds barred... it's good for those who may be going through the same thing. In anycase... fill in the blank. I made it through most of the day without taking any medication. I did end up taking half an atavan just before picking up the girls at Becky's. I took it because I was a bit apprehensive about taking care of them... I didn't want to get sick and fail as a mom. But it was in good measure because after I got home with them, they were having fun and I was having fun with them. We played and played and played. We played picnic, hide and go seek and tag! It was fun to actually be well enough to do something with my girls. I love them so much.
Today my neighbor, Sheila came over. She brought over a bunch of flowers and a dinner for sometime later in the week. That was soooo sweet of her. And it's a yummy meal too. I want to also say thank you to my cousin, Amy, Tyler and their sweet daughter, Caitlyn. They sent me beautiful irises and stargazer lillies. They are blooming so nicely. Thanks Deanne for chatting with me today. It was so nice chatting with you from Reno to Dayton. Mwah!
I want to say a special shout out to Lindsey (sp?) who I have never met... but is reading this blog. I am hoping that this blog will help you understand the patient side of nursing. If you have any questions.... anyone, please ask them. I will be very candid. I will tell you the truth. Momma told me not to lie! :)
Oh, on another note... I made my first payment... well... it was the one bill that covered my insurance deductible. I made that $634.00 payment for the actual biopsy today. I am glad that I called them. Since I had only received one statement and was paying for the whole bill in full, I got a 10% discount off of the bill. So instead of paying 634, I paid 570. Sweet night! That was soooo awesome. I am happy I called. In any case, that bill is going straight to my credit card. I am getting those airline miles. When this is all said and done, I want to go on a cruise. I am thinking a Disney cruise so we can take the girls. Tracey, you out there to price us an outside cabin going somewhere luxurious? Grandparents... you in, too? We're going to need a few babysitters, as Brad and I will need some "us" time! LOL.
Until tomorrow.... must go. Work awaits.
Yesterday was really horrible. The day before that was really horrible. But now that 4 and 5DPC is behind me, I can say I am in the home stretch of feeling good for the next ten days. I woke up this morning around 3:30. I was feeling really hungry so instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I got up and made myself an english muffin. One side had butter and the other had peanut butter. It was yummy... and it stayed down. I washed that down with 16 ounces of water. That too stayed down. Following my breakfast, I decided to lay down again since I was unsure of the status quo of my gastrointestinal track. I did manage to call my boss and tell him that I would take one more day off to relax and get some rest. He said okay and that was that. I went back to sleep... and got up around 6a. I was a little nauseous, but not enough to take anything for it. I sometimes don't because I am afraid that it's going to make me feel even worse. I asked Brad if there was anything I could do for him.... he said yea, I could get Elaina ready to go. I said sure. I was eager to do something after the last two days I was not eager to do ANYTHING. So I got Elaina ready for the day and kissed the kids good bye. Following that I mosied back upstairs to bed. I flipped on the laptop and started to just surf the internet in bed.
I checked my email from work and personal email. I even got caught up on Facebook. Thank you to everyone who is respecting our wishes and not posting anything on Facebook. I do appreciate it. Around 7, I got hungry again and went downstairs to grab something to eat... yogurt. Yum that was delicious. I wish I had another Boston Creme Pie yogurt. It went down so nice and smooth. I chased that down with water and then apple juice. I have been eating soooo much today. By 8a I was hungry for chicken lo mein. I couldn't believe how hungry I was. I have been eating all day.
I finally got off of the internet around 10 or so. This time I got off to go and run to Safeway to get myself some lo mein. While the lo mein wasn't the greatest, it certainly quenched that desire. I have no more craving for it. Oh, I did forget to mention that while I was online, I was chatting with David on facebook. Sounds like he is going to come over to my house and help me plant my vegetable garden. Sweet! Thanks David!
The rest of the afternoon was spent working on work stuff. I got all my compass coaching in. I listened to all the negative verbatims from work... (just work stuff). I feel accomplished. I need to talk to my GM to see if I can have a laptop so I can VPN into work and gain access to other things I need access to that I can't get from home. We shall see!
I mainly snacked on lo mein all day long. Funny how last round i was jonesing for bean and cheese burritos and this time it's lo mein. Who know what next round will be... chicken bowl from KFC? LOL. I managed to take a shower too! I took a washcloth into the shower and began to scrub my head. My hair is finally falling out. It looks like Brad shaved! There are little hairs all over the place. In any case... the hair is falling out on top of my head as well as.... ahem. ;-) I told you this blog would be a no holds barred... it's good for those who may be going through the same thing. In anycase... fill in the blank. I made it through most of the day without taking any medication. I did end up taking half an atavan just before picking up the girls at Becky's. I took it because I was a bit apprehensive about taking care of them... I didn't want to get sick and fail as a mom. But it was in good measure because after I got home with them, they were having fun and I was having fun with them. We played and played and played. We played picnic, hide and go seek and tag! It was fun to actually be well enough to do something with my girls. I love them so much.
Today my neighbor, Sheila came over. She brought over a bunch of flowers and a dinner for sometime later in the week. That was soooo sweet of her. And it's a yummy meal too. I want to also say thank you to my cousin, Amy, Tyler and their sweet daughter, Caitlyn. They sent me beautiful irises and stargazer lillies. They are blooming so nicely. Thanks Deanne for chatting with me today. It was so nice chatting with you from Reno to Dayton. Mwah!
I want to say a special shout out to Lindsey (sp?) who I have never met... but is reading this blog. I am hoping that this blog will help you understand the patient side of nursing. If you have any questions.... anyone, please ask them. I will be very candid. I will tell you the truth. Momma told me not to lie! :)
Oh, on another note... I made my first payment... well... it was the one bill that covered my insurance deductible. I made that $634.00 payment for the actual biopsy today. I am glad that I called them. Since I had only received one statement and was paying for the whole bill in full, I got a 10% discount off of the bill. So instead of paying 634, I paid 570. Sweet night! That was soooo awesome. I am happy I called. In any case, that bill is going straight to my credit card. I am getting those airline miles. When this is all said and done, I want to go on a cruise. I am thinking a Disney cruise so we can take the girls. Tracey, you out there to price us an outside cabin going somewhere luxurious? Grandparents... you in, too? We're going to need a few babysitters, as Brad and I will need some "us" time! LOL.
Until tomorrow.... must go. Work awaits.
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