Day 185 - Post Breast Cancer PET/CT scan & Dermabond

I'm cancer free!

I got the results of the PET scan back today. Happy to report that my scan looks good. The PET scan showed that there was no "activity" in the supraclavicular lymph node. That's awesome news. The CT scan also revealed the same thing. While I am overjoyed with this news, I am sort of reserved about the findings. I am not alarmed... yet... but just wondering what some of the other stuff in the report says.

For example on the PET scan it says: Very mild warmth is noted within the anterior mediastinum
not seen previously and of uncertain significance; and, Warmth in the anterior mediastinum is of uncertain significance. Attention on follow up recommended.

On the CT scan, the report reads: Anterior mediastinal soft tissue consistent with thymic
tissue is noted.

So what does it all mean? I really haven't a clue, but I did do some researching because I was a little concerned. Added to the fact that the nurse who called me said that with the PET scan, I'll have to talk to the radiologist regarding course of treatment and that she'll go over it with me. I do believe that she was talking to me about the lymph node and the dosing.  Back to the research...

Thymic tissue. I found that that tissue belongs to the thymus. The thymus plays a big role in childhood and adolescence. It peaks at puberty and then starts to fade away and become I believe fatty tissue. I think the clinical term used was "atropy." The deterioration of the thymus I guess has been linked to cancer and susceptibility of infection. However, I did read that after chemotherapy treatments, in adults, the thymus can be "reactivated." Also... I read... a residual thymic tissue is a remnant of the thymus gland mostly composed of fatty tissues. this is not considered anything abnormal. So I am not freaking out... yet. I don't think it's cancer. It couldn't be. The thymus is operable and can be taken out.

The PET scan stuff... that could be from the thymus as well. An oncologist posted this regarding thymic rebound: The thymus is a lymphoid organ in the anterior mediastinum. In general as you get older, it gets smaller. With chemotherapy or radiotherapy, the thymus shrinks. This is normal. After chemotherapy or radiation therapy, the normal thymus recovers. As it does so, sometimes its even larger than normal for a while. It can show up on CT scan and on PET or PET CT scan. This is normal, healthy, sign of recovery. The only danger is when the changes in the scan are misinterpreted as relapse. Your oncologist told you just the right answer. It sounds like you are in good hands. So I am not concerned. With more and more research, I am leaning towards a thymic rebound. It happens to patients dealing with lymphoma. The PET also concluded that: Foci of tracer uptake in the bilateral supraclavicular regions is fairly symmetric and likely related to brown fat. This can be avoided on future PETS with pre-study beta blockade.

With this PET scan, I was also a little more interested in some of the numbers given... SUV inparticular. I found that my main tumor was 8.1 on the SUV scale and that the axillary nodes were at a SUV of 4.5. Today the main tumor... well... is gone. The axillary was showing a SUV of 1.6. That's a good number. That number may be as a result of surgery... but it's under 3. SUV stands for Standardized Uptake Value. It's basically the output of how well you "glow" under the PET scan. Here's a link of what PET scans do: CLICK HERE. I found it interesting and helpful.

Oh yes, the supraclavical node went from the dimension of 1.5x1.0cm to 1.0x0.5cm... and it's more or less symmetric with the other clavical node on the other side. So that is very good news. The CT scan did show that I have a 7mm cyst on my liver. But cysts can come and go and it's not a concern. :) But other than that, it was a good test result. No cancer anywhere else. It's not in my head... literally. The nurse said that it was good news. And I trust her.

Now, as for my boobs... I am starting to peel. I feel like a snake. The dermabond which went over my incision to make it waterproof and my incision less likely for infection is now starting to peel off. Right now on my incision, I have a line which is the scab that went over the cut. As it's starting to peel off, I am now seeing my scar. It looks good. :) Supposedly it's supposed to start coming off 7-10 days after it's applied... but maybe Dr. Thakar sealed me up pretty good, or I haven't really cared to try and get it off.

Tomorrow I have more PT, Thursday a fill and Friday another PT appt.

Day 82 - Chemo-sucky

So I guess you could say that yesterday was a very low low low point in my treatment. I will admit i was in tears. The chemo just got to me. I hate it. I will shout it - I hate chemotherapy. Maybe I should call it chemo-sucky because it is definitely NOT theraputic at all.

After this past weekend, I just don't ever want to go back. I don't like the feeling of taxol. First it made me so nauseous that it sent me to the hospital. Then it gave me so much aches and pain that it felt unbearable. And lastly I couldn't kick the feeling of just general icky-ness. So yesterday I just broke down and said I don't want anymore. I don't want to go through anymore of this chemo-sucky. I wanted to end it at 5 treatments. I figure I will still live. I did my research and some doctors say that after 5 treatments... it only lessens your chance of cancer/recurrence by 2-3%. But today I am feeling better. I am feeling - not a million bucks - but feeling better. Enough to understand that I need to do another treatment of taxol. I will take the treatments one at a time. Yesterday I suffered just from anxiety of knowing I have three more to go. But then I took a half an ativan and I felt so much better. I put it all behind me for the time being. This morning when I woke up I felt good.

So... here are the side effects of taxol that I have experienced. Nausea, vomiting, extreme aches and pains (feels like growing pains which are dull and achy and then toss in excrutiating sharp pains) and tingly feet. Then I get the side effects of the anti-nausea meds... constipation. Ugh! So I figure this is how I am going to tackle the next round of chemo-sucky. Since I didn't start to feel gross until Saturday late morning, when I wake up on Saturday the first thing I will do is pop a zofran in my mouth. That will last for 12 hours or so. Then maybe later in the morning depending on how I feel, I may take a compazine. After that I can pop an ativan. In any case, I am going to medicate the crap out of my body and make sure I don't get sick. I will also sip sip sip water or apple juice, or whatever I feel like drinking. I don't want to get nauseated and vomit. Then I don't want to get dehydrated. Like I posted in another post, it's a vicious cycle and I don't want to get caught up in it. In addition, I will ask Dr. L if I should get hydration on Friday. Maybe get hydration when I get my Neulasta shot. As for the pain... I am going to be popping ibuprofen pills... 600 mg if that's okay with Dr. L. I have a plan. I don't want to go back to what I was feeling before. That just sucked. I guess I let it get too far because I wanted to believe that I was going to be one of those people who wasn't going to get sick from the taxol. Hahahahaha!

As for the tingling... or neuropathy. That is something that I will have to deal with. It is something that is not that bad compared to everything else... but when compiled with all the other side effects... it just sucked. So today the aches and pains are gone and I am just dealing with a little bit of tingling. This I can deal with. Oh yes, here's another thing... I can't concentrate. I feel like a toddler with the attention span of 3 minutes. But that happened on Tuesday and Wednesday. Today I felt like an adult with a longer attention span of 5 (cuz I was at work and my attention is constantly being redirected).

But I am feeling good today. Thanks for your support.

Day 81

Chemotherapy sucks.

Day 46 - T-minus 3 days...

Yes, it's another three more days until Round 3 of chemo. It's something I am not looking forward to... but yet I am looking forward to. It's a catch 22. I don't want it to come because I am not looking forward to Sunday, but yet I am looking forward to it because it's Round 3 and I am that much closer to being done with this horrible stuff. Yucko! I figure that I will be 3/8th of the way through chemo when I resurface on the other side of the yucky side effects... so that means I'll be saying I am that much closer to the end when Wednesday next comes around.

So I called the insurance company today. I found out that my copays to the doctors do not count towards the total out of pocket expense. That's a shame because every single time I go to chemo I have to see my oncologist. So that means that I have to pay Dr. Luoh $400 in copays when all is said and done. Fun stuff... but that's okay. If it means I am getting better and eradicating those dumb cancer cells, I am down with it. I am just glad I have health insurance. I am also getting closer to the maximum out of pocket max of $5500. I am at $2153.00, so just under halfway there. Got my visa card bill too today... that was, well, high. But I was expecting it.

That's about it. Good day again. Just dreading Sunday. :(

Day 40

What a difference a few hours can make. Today marks day 40 since finding out that I have breast cancer. I have two rounds of chemo behind me. And I am starting to feel better.

Yesterday was really horrible. The day before that was really horrible. But now that 4 and 5DPC is behind me, I can say I am in the home stretch of feeling good for the next ten days. I woke up this morning around 3:30. I was feeling really hungry so instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I got up and made myself an english muffin. One side had butter and the other had peanut butter. It was yummy... and it stayed down. I washed that down with 16 ounces of water. That too stayed down. Following my breakfast, I decided to lay down again since I was unsure of the status quo of my gastrointestinal track. I did manage to call my boss and tell him that I would take one more day off to relax and get some rest. He said okay and that was that. I went back to sleep... and got up around 6a. I was a little nauseous, but not enough to take anything for it. I sometimes don't because I am afraid that it's going to make me feel even worse. I asked Brad if there was anything I could do for him.... he said yea, I could get Elaina ready to go. I said sure. I was eager to do something after the last two days I was not eager to do ANYTHING. So I got Elaina ready for the day and kissed the kids good bye. Following that I mosied back upstairs to bed. I flipped on the laptop and started to just surf the internet in bed.

I checked my email from work and personal email. I even got caught up on Facebook. Thank you to everyone who is respecting our wishes and not posting anything on Facebook. I do appreciate it. Around 7, I got hungry again and went downstairs to grab something to eat... yogurt. Yum that was delicious. I wish I had another Boston Creme Pie yogurt. It went down so nice and smooth. I chased that down with water and then apple juice. I have been eating soooo much today. By 8a I was hungry for chicken lo mein. I couldn't believe how hungry I was. I have been eating all day.

I finally got off of the internet around 10 or so. This time I got off to go and run to Safeway to get myself some lo mein. While the lo mein wasn't the greatest, it certainly quenched that desire. I have no more craving for it. Oh, I did forget to mention that while I was online, I was chatting with David on facebook. Sounds like he is going to come over to my house and help me plant my vegetable garden. Sweet! Thanks David!

The rest of the afternoon was spent working on work stuff. I got all my compass coaching in. I listened to all the negative verbatims from work... (just work stuff). I feel accomplished. I need to talk to my GM to see if I can have a laptop so I can VPN into work and gain access to other things I need access to that I can't get from home. We shall see!

I mainly snacked on lo mein all day long. Funny how last round i was jonesing for bean and cheese burritos and this time it's lo mein. Who know what next round will be... chicken bowl from KFC? LOL. I managed to take a shower too! I took a washcloth into the shower and began to scrub my head. My hair is finally falling out. It looks like Brad shaved! There are little hairs all over the place. In any case... the hair is falling out on top of my head as well as.... ahem. ;-) I told you this blog would be a no holds barred... it's good for those who may be going through the same thing. In anycase... fill in the blank. I made it through most of the day without taking any medication. I did end up taking half an atavan just before picking up the girls at Becky's. I took it because I was a bit apprehensive about taking care of them... I didn't want to get sick and fail as a mom. But it was in good measure because after I got home with them, they were having fun and I was having fun with them. We played and played and played. We played picnic, hide and go seek and tag! It was fun to actually be well enough to do something with my girls. I love them so much.

Today my neighbor, Sheila came over. She brought over a bunch of flowers and a dinner for sometime later in the week. That was soooo sweet of her. And it's a yummy meal too. I want to also say thank you to my cousin, Amy, Tyler and their sweet daughter, Caitlyn. They sent me beautiful irises and stargazer lillies. They are blooming so nicely. Thanks Deanne for chatting with me today. It was so nice chatting with you from Reno to Dayton. Mwah!

I want to say a special shout out to Lindsey (sp?) who I have never met... but is reading this blog. I am hoping that this blog will help you understand the patient side of nursing. If you have any questions.... anyone, please ask them. I will be very candid. I will tell you the truth. Momma told me not to lie! :)

Oh, on another note... I made my first payment... well... it was the one bill that covered my insurance deductible. I made that $634.00 payment for the actual biopsy today. I am glad that I called them. Since I had only received one statement and was paying for the whole bill in full, I got a 10% discount off of the bill. So instead of paying 634, I paid 570. Sweet night! That was soooo awesome. I am happy I called. In any case, that bill is going straight to my credit card. I am getting those airline miles. When this is all said and done, I want to go on a cruise. I am thinking a Disney cruise so we can take the girls. Tracey, you out there to price us an outside cabin going somewhere luxurious? Grandparents... you in, too? We're going to need a few babysitters, as Brad and I will need some "us" time! LOL.

Until tomorrow.... must go. Work awaits.

Day 35 - Round 2 Chemo

Drip, drip, drip... in goes the chemo. I am at OHSU right now and I am on my last chemo of the day cytoxan!

Here's a picture of me and Brad in the infusion room!

We met with Dr. Luoh this afternoon. We rearranged my medications... so instead of taking the compazine, I am going to take zofran twice a day along with the atavan and the dexamethazone. So hopefully this will help me get over the hump.

(I am beeping which means I am done!)

Okay, I am now at home. So things are looking good. I met with Dr. Luoh and discussed the nausea issue. So we are now changing the medication for that. I am ditching the compazine and going with zofran. Then Dr. Luoh checked my lymph nodes and breast. Here's where it gets good. Dr. L said that the lymph node in my neck has gotten smaller! Good sign. He said 2 weeks ago the node was measuring around 1.5cm and he says that while it's still enlarged, it is now under 1 cm. Then he checked the lymph nodes under my arm. He said that those are getting smaller. It means the chemo is working! Lastly, he quickly checked my breast. He moved it around and he said that the breast is now more pliable and the nipple is popping out. It's all good signs that the chemo is working and the tumor is shrinking. And this is just after ONE round of chemo. It's a good good sign. I am hoping is shrinks even more. Good day good day!

Then it was time for chemo. I was worried that I would have another reaction. So for my premeds, I got a 15 minute drip of zantac. Apparently zantac helps suppress the immune system. Well, it worked! I didn't have any reaction to adriamycin. So that's wonderful news. It was a good good day.

Anyway, I am bushed and keep falling asleep during this post, so I am going to say goodnight. Love to all!

Day 22

Today has gone as well as expected.

Last night I was up all night peeing like a race horse. All that water... well, it has to go somewhere. So I've got a little routine down, as I have to flush the toilet twice for five days after receiving chemo. I go, flush, wash my hands, then flush again. The toilet tank refills in the time it takes for me to wash my hands. I feel that's a good routine.

This morning I woke up and got ready for work. I was in at my normal time of 430. I ate my breakfast cereal and half a peanut bar and took my first dose of the all day anti-nausea medication. Hee hee, the side effects included dizziness. So I went home at 7a. I came home ate, then took about an hour and a half nap. When I woke up I felt so much better. I had a snack and then went back to work. At work I had a snack. I stayed at work until 2p to get stuff taken care of. But that whole last hour I was at work, I was thinking of food. Yep, another size effect - increased appetite. Heck, I'll take it. Got home at 2:10 and ate some yummy left overs before heading out to my Neulasta injection.

Before I left, I got a call from OHSU. My port surgery is scheduled for 2/15. I don't know a time yet, but I'll receive a call the day before with the time. So my port will be going in the day before my next chemo treatment. Hooray... I think.

My neulasta injection appointment was at 3p. I got there and it was so nice not having to drive to downtown Portland because I didn't want to drive back in rush hour traffic. NOT GOOD. I got there, and they couldn't find my order. But somehow, someway, they found it and I got my injection. I didn't realize that I could get it in my arm or my stomach. I opted for stomach because the nurse said that it was less painful there. It didn't hurt. Then I had to stay for 5 minutes because they wanted to monitor me for any allergic reaction. None this time. While I was there, the office manager and I started talking. She showed me the infusion room. It was nice and cheerful, but I don't want to move my chemo closer to home. I want to keep my doctor.

When I got home I made some measurements of how much I was drinking. Dr. L wants me to drink 2-3 liters a day. That's 96-100 ounces. Today so far I have drank 110 ounces and it's only 4:25! I think I will surpass that. But it's important for me to drink a lot of water... one to keep me hydrated and two it will get the chemo out of my body and the liver doesn't have to work so hard to process it out of my system.

So... in closing... it has been a decent day. I am waiting for the real crappy days to come. I hear they are just around the corner... like day 3-8 or so. That would mean Sunday. Sunday is Brad's first day to work and my first day of being alone with two girls and doing chemo at the same time. We'll see how much stuff gets done. I am also expecting on Sunday for my bones to hurt. That's when the neulasta kicks in and when my bones will start to ache (bone marrow starts reproducing and making white and red blood cells).