So I guess you could say that yesterday was a very low low low point in my treatment. I will admit i was in tears. The chemo just got to me. I hate it. I will shout it - I hate chemotherapy. Maybe I should call it chemo-sucky because it is definitely NOT theraputic at all.
After this past weekend, I just don't ever want to go back. I don't like the feeling of taxol. First it made me so nauseous that it sent me to the hospital. Then it gave me so much aches and pain that it felt unbearable. And lastly I couldn't kick the feeling of just general icky-ness. So yesterday I just broke down and said I don't want anymore. I don't want to go through anymore of this chemo-sucky. I wanted to end it at 5 treatments. I figure I will still live. I did my research and some doctors say that after 5 treatments... it only lessens your chance of cancer/recurrence by 2-3%. But today I am feeling better. I am feeling - not a million bucks - but feeling better. Enough to understand that I need to do another treatment of taxol. I will take the treatments one at a time. Yesterday I suffered just from anxiety of knowing I have three more to go. But then I took a half an ativan and I felt so much better. I put it all behind me for the time being. This morning when I woke up I felt good.
So... here are the side effects of taxol that I have experienced. Nausea, vomiting, extreme aches and pains (feels like growing pains which are dull and achy and then toss in excrutiating sharp pains) and tingly feet. Then I get the side effects of the anti-nausea meds... constipation. Ugh! So I figure this is how I am going to tackle the next round of chemo-sucky. Since I didn't start to feel gross until Saturday late morning, when I wake up on Saturday the first thing I will do is pop a zofran in my mouth. That will last for 12 hours or so. Then maybe later in the morning depending on how I feel, I may take a compazine. After that I can pop an ativan. In any case, I am going to medicate the crap out of my body and make sure I don't get sick. I will also sip sip sip water or apple juice, or whatever I feel like drinking. I don't want to get nauseated and vomit. Then I don't want to get dehydrated. Like I posted in another post, it's a vicious cycle and I don't want to get caught up in it. In addition, I will ask Dr. L if I should get hydration on Friday. Maybe get hydration when I get my Neulasta shot. As for the pain... I am going to be popping ibuprofen pills... 600 mg if that's okay with Dr. L. I have a plan. I don't want to go back to what I was feeling before. That just sucked. I guess I let it get too far because I wanted to believe that I was going to be one of those people who wasn't going to get sick from the taxol. Hahahahaha!
As for the tingling... or neuropathy. That is something that I will have to deal with. It is something that is not that bad compared to everything else... but when compiled with all the other side effects... it just sucked. So today the aches and pains are gone and I am just dealing with a little bit of tingling. This I can deal with. Oh yes, here's another thing... I can't concentrate. I feel like a toddler with the attention span of 3 minutes. But that happened on Tuesday and Wednesday. Today I felt like an adult with a longer attention span of 5 (cuz I was at work and my attention is constantly being redirected).
But I am feeling good today. Thanks for your support.
Showing posts with label nausea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nausea. Show all posts
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Day 78 - No April Fools
Taxol was supposed to be the easier of the chemo treatments. Nope, not for me. Last night I spent 5 hours in the ER. Yesterday I couldn't keep anything in. I was either throwing up or it was going out the other way. At about 10p, I couldn't take it anymore, so I told Brad to call the on call oncologist at OHSU. They seemed to think I was dehydrated. It's a vicious cycle. Nauseous, throw up, can't keep fluids down... which makes the nausea even worse. So at about 11p last night Brad and I went to Mt. Hood ER. It took about 2 hours just to get a room. Then it was another two hours. They popped me full of saline (one liter), zofran, pepcid and IB profin stuff for my achy body. By 4a, I was feeling good.
Now it's 9:30a and I just popped a zofran just in case. I don't want to be going through this again. In addition, I have been sipping fluids all morning. So far I have been keeping things down. I did have a small box of cereal. That has stayed down. We shall see what the day brings. I'm just so done with this crap. Last night I told Brad I don't want anymore. I just wanted to give up with the chemo. I was throwing up stomach acid as there was nothing left in my body to heave up. It was terrible.
I think I am going to nap now. I will let you know how I fare later today. Say a few prayers for me. I need it and the encouragement to keep going. I'm lucky to have my mom here to watch the kids for me.
Now it's 9:30a and I just popped a zofran just in case. I don't want to be going through this again. In addition, I have been sipping fluids all morning. So far I have been keeping things down. I did have a small box of cereal. That has stayed down. We shall see what the day brings. I'm just so done with this crap. Last night I told Brad I don't want anymore. I just wanted to give up with the chemo. I was throwing up stomach acid as there was nothing left in my body to heave up. It was terrible.
I think I am going to nap now. I will let you know how I fare later today. Say a few prayers for me. I need it and the encouragement to keep going. I'm lucky to have my mom here to watch the kids for me.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Day 76 & 77 - Still isn't easy
I thought this was going to be the easier of the chemos. Hahahaha!
It's Saturday or Day 77 and I am sitting in bed and feeling achy all over. I feel like I have the flu without the nasty symptoms except for extreme body aches. And then this afternoon, what happens??? I'm puking in the toilet again. So much for the nausea and vomiting going away. I am so done with this. Also my taste is gone. Nothing tastes like it should. I don't have the "metallic" taste, it's just nothing has any taste or seasoning. So as for the nausea and vomiting, I am back taking compazine. Hopefully that will keep everything down. I do have to say that the nausea and vomiting is nothing like the previous two rounds. I just wish it hadn't come around at all.
Taxol is taxing on the body. While I don't have the "tingling" feeling, my finger tips are achy. My scalp aches. Basically everything aches. This does not bode well because tomorrow is when my body really aches from the neulasta shot. So I guess we will see.
Yesterday I was feeling pretty good. I was up and around. I was just tired from the day before that's activities, but I managed through it pretty well. I'm just not looking forward to what tomorrow brings. More nausea? More aches and pains? At least I only have three more rounds of this crap and then I am done, done, DONE!
It's Saturday or Day 77 and I am sitting in bed and feeling achy all over. I feel like I have the flu without the nasty symptoms except for extreme body aches. And then this afternoon, what happens??? I'm puking in the toilet again. So much for the nausea and vomiting going away. I am so done with this. Also my taste is gone. Nothing tastes like it should. I don't have the "metallic" taste, it's just nothing has any taste or seasoning. So as for the nausea and vomiting, I am back taking compazine. Hopefully that will keep everything down. I do have to say that the nausea and vomiting is nothing like the previous two rounds. I just wish it hadn't come around at all.
Taxol is taxing on the body. While I don't have the "tingling" feeling, my finger tips are achy. My scalp aches. Basically everything aches. This does not bode well because tomorrow is when my body really aches from the neulasta shot. So I guess we will see.
Yesterday I was feeling pretty good. I was up and around. I was just tired from the day before that's activities, but I managed through it pretty well. I'm just not looking forward to what tomorrow brings. More nausea? More aches and pains? At least I only have three more rounds of this crap and then I am done, done, DONE!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Day 62 - Round 4
Got my last infusion of the crappy AC. Yea. Trying something new for the vomiting and nausea. Had my ultrasound today. Good news, confirmed shrinkage of my tumor. Tumor before: 7.6 cm. Tumor now: 3.3 cm. Lymph node in neck before: 2.0 cm. Now: 1.4 cm. Axillary lymph nodes before: couldn't find them, meaning they were clumped together and indistinguishable. Now: can see the lymph nodes and they're looking like nodes again.
There's more to write, but I am beat. Going to bed. Will fill you in on more... just check back later for today's post.
*** Update ***
I promised I'd be back. Sorry it's later than I imagined. I have either been busy or tired.So here goes... Thursday, Brad dropped me off at the Center for Health and Healing. I took the tram up to the top of the hill where my appointment was. I got there and they told me they didn't have and appointment for me. However they did find someone to do my u/s. While I was waiting, there was a girl who helped me from the very beginning getting me my appointments, Amanda. She came out and talked to me. I told her it looked like things were looking up.I got into my u/s. It was the same lady who did my original u/s. I told her that I am doing better now and that the other day when we first met I was a horrible mess. She said that was okay... figuring under the circumstances. She did my u/s and we just talked about nonsense stuff just to pass the time. Then she went and got a doctor to make sure that she got everything. This time Dr. Chan came in. He said that everything was looking good. The longest point of the tumor had shrunk by half, the axillary node under the arm had shrunk. Before, the nodes were all clumped together and they couldn't distinguish a node. Now they could see the traits of the nodes. This is good news. The node in my neck had also gone down from 2cm to 1.4cm. I asked Dr. Chan what the size of node should be. His answer... he doesn't know as everyone's lymph nodes are different sizes. As long as they see the size going down, it's good. He did say that at the next screen they may not see much difference, but with other testing like an MRI and PET, they will see if the area is consuming lots of glucose and metabolizing a lot. That's an indication of cancer in a particular part of a body.Next I met Brad down at the Center for Health and Healing. Took the tram back down. Met him and got my blood drawn. Then after that we went back up the tram to get some lunch. I had a cheeseburger and fries. The burger was HUGE. I could not finish it. Then it was down the tram again for my chemo and meet with Dr. Luoh. With Dr. L, we talked mainly about controlling the nausea and vomiting. We are hoping this round will fair a bit better. :) Then it was time for my treatment.
There's more to write, but I am beat. Going to bed. Will fill you in on more... just check back later for today's post.
*** Update ***
I promised I'd be back. Sorry it's later than I imagined. I have either been busy or tired.So here goes... Thursday, Brad dropped me off at the Center for Health and Healing. I took the tram up to the top of the hill where my appointment was. I got there and they told me they didn't have and appointment for me. However they did find someone to do my u/s. While I was waiting, there was a girl who helped me from the very beginning getting me my appointments, Amanda. She came out and talked to me. I told her it looked like things were looking up.I got into my u/s. It was the same lady who did my original u/s. I told her that I am doing better now and that the other day when we first met I was a horrible mess. She said that was okay... figuring under the circumstances. She did my u/s and we just talked about nonsense stuff just to pass the time. Then she went and got a doctor to make sure that she got everything. This time Dr. Chan came in. He said that everything was looking good. The longest point of the tumor had shrunk by half, the axillary node under the arm had shrunk. Before, the nodes were all clumped together and they couldn't distinguish a node. Now they could see the traits of the nodes. This is good news. The node in my neck had also gone down from 2cm to 1.4cm. I asked Dr. Chan what the size of node should be. His answer... he doesn't know as everyone's lymph nodes are different sizes. As long as they see the size going down, it's good. He did say that at the next screen they may not see much difference, but with other testing like an MRI and PET, they will see if the area is consuming lots of glucose and metabolizing a lot. That's an indication of cancer in a particular part of a body.Next I met Brad down at the Center for Health and Healing. Took the tram back down. Met him and got my blood drawn. Then after that we went back up the tram to get some lunch. I had a cheeseburger and fries. The burger was HUGE. I could not finish it. Then it was down the tram again for my chemo and meet with Dr. Luoh. With Dr. L, we talked mainly about controlling the nausea and vomiting. We are hoping this round will fair a bit better. :) Then it was time for my treatment.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Day 52 - Dreaded Sunday
So I am attaching on to the last post that I created. I am sitting here in bed. I just took the suppository form of compazine since I can't seem to get anything to stay down. However, I do feel better than what I did yesterday and the Sunday after round 2 chemo. I feel more with it and I don't have the nausea. Funny, huh? What I do have is the urge to puke. But it's not always there... it's there just when I need to. So I took a compazine about 30 minutes ago. It's supposed to work for 12 hours. I like it better because if I have to puke, it's still in my body. Unlike taking the pill form where I could just puke it out and then it would be a moot point. I skipped the dexomethasone and the zofran. I woke up this morning feeling pretty decent. After Brad left for work, I threw up. Then I felt better. After that I had some toast and water. About two hours later, I threw up again. Most of the toast was gone, but there was a little left. Got the kids up and ready. They had their breakfast. Then Grandma Evelyn got here. I threw up again. A little more toast. Shortly after that bout, Nancy stopped by to drop off my prescription which I didn't get a chance to pick up yesterday. Thank you Nancy! And now here I am... up in bed... blogging about how crappy I feel. I am wondering what I can have to eat that won't make me wretch. Crackers? Mac n cheese? White Castle?? It's funny, when I drink water it makes me feel worse. Isn't hydrating myself supposed to make me feel better? Hmmm..
A little shout out to Kate! Thank you so much for my hat! I love the color and it's keeping my head oh so toasty warm!
Oh yes, and another ache to add to my day... my neck and chest hurt from the neulasta shot. Fun times!
*** Update***
Still hanging in there. Still throwing up whatever I put down my mouth. It's funny, it's the water that really makes me feel ill. If I drink a couple of gulps, it comes right up. But I do like feeling like this than to be nauseous all day long. At least I can put away laundry and just sit and watch the girls play. It's still a crappy day.
Right now Grandma and Grandpa have the girls. They are taking them out for some dinner. Where they are going, no one knows. They are gone. I had some jello for dinner and some mashed potatoes. Maybe that will stay down. Who knows. Still feeling like grossness.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Day 42
It's 415a and I am updating my blog as I eat my breakfast. Day 42 was a good day. Nothing really to report. I went to work, came home and then played with the kids. No troubles at all. I do get waves of nausea, but not enough nausea to cause me any trouble or to take a pill to get rid of it. I have developed a little bit of acid reflux. I find if I eat acidic foods like tomatoes or spicy foods it gives me a little bit of acid reflux. So I have been taking zantac for that.
On a side note... the terrible news keeps on piling up. One of my friends just found out that her husband may have testicular cancer. :( They go in for a biopsy next week. This is not good. For my friend... this will be the worst part of the diagnosis... the waiting for the tests to figure out the diagnosis and treatment. In addition, my step-sister just found out that her husband has colon cancer. They found out during a routine colonoscopy. Grrrr! So again, they will find out more in the coming weeks. And another one of our close friends may have a recurrence of prostate cancer. We'll find out more on Monday. So the news keeps coming and coming. Can we just fast forward to 2013???
On a positive note... I want to let everyone know my step sis is expecting! Wahoo! I'm going to be an auntie again. :)
Until next time....
On a side note... the terrible news keeps on piling up. One of my friends just found out that her husband may have testicular cancer. :( They go in for a biopsy next week. This is not good. For my friend... this will be the worst part of the diagnosis... the waiting for the tests to figure out the diagnosis and treatment. In addition, my step-sister just found out that her husband has colon cancer. They found out during a routine colonoscopy. Grrrr! So again, they will find out more in the coming weeks. And another one of our close friends may have a recurrence of prostate cancer. We'll find out more on Monday. So the news keeps coming and coming. Can we just fast forward to 2013???
On a positive note... I want to let everyone know my step sis is expecting! Wahoo! I'm going to be an auntie again. :)
Until next time....
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Day 39 - More nausea
So as you can tell, some of these posts are coming AFTER the actual day. Reason being, just to sick to write. I am sure you can fill in the blanks, though.
Day 39, Monday, was a rough day. Following day 38 where I didn't eat hardly anything at all, I managed to eat two little White Castle cheese burgers, some dried apple slices and just a few noodles. I dealt with nausea all day long. I took compazine, ativan... anything and everything that was in the arsenal. I didn't take zofran. That was the only thing I didn't take. For some reason I think it kills my taste buds... like I was tasting anything yummy anyway. But I did also manage to drink some apple juice and some ginger ale. That was more than what I drank the day prior. Heck on Day 38, I threw up boullion. I couldn't even get that to stay down. The weird thing about Sunday was that I wasn't feeling nauseous. I just had to throw up. Interesting, eh?
So yesterday, my best friend, Jen, came over and kept me company for a few hours. She said she'd be my Merry Maid, but I couldn't have her cleaning my house... sorry, Jen, not that mean. :) So she kept me company with conversation, watched me nap, we watched Rachael Ray's 1000's episode and just talked. It was nice to have someone there. Every once in awhile she'd grab me more drink... because I had to keep up on my fluids. I don't want to get dehydrated.
Becky ended up keeping the girls until Brad picked them up after work. So it was another long day for them. But I think they are used to it. Thank you Becky for keeping them all day. It means so much to us that we don't have to worry about them. :)
Then I took a full dose of ativan and went to bed. I woke up this morning... and am feeling better.... which leads me to Day 40.
Day 39, Monday, was a rough day. Following day 38 where I didn't eat hardly anything at all, I managed to eat two little White Castle cheese burgers, some dried apple slices and just a few noodles. I dealt with nausea all day long. I took compazine, ativan... anything and everything that was in the arsenal. I didn't take zofran. That was the only thing I didn't take. For some reason I think it kills my taste buds... like I was tasting anything yummy anyway. But I did also manage to drink some apple juice and some ginger ale. That was more than what I drank the day prior. Heck on Day 38, I threw up boullion. I couldn't even get that to stay down. The weird thing about Sunday was that I wasn't feeling nauseous. I just had to throw up. Interesting, eh?
So yesterday, my best friend, Jen, came over and kept me company for a few hours. She said she'd be my Merry Maid, but I couldn't have her cleaning my house... sorry, Jen, not that mean. :) So she kept me company with conversation, watched me nap, we watched Rachael Ray's 1000's episode and just talked. It was nice to have someone there. Every once in awhile she'd grab me more drink... because I had to keep up on my fluids. I don't want to get dehydrated.
Becky ended up keeping the girls until Brad picked them up after work. So it was another long day for them. But I think they are used to it. Thank you Becky for keeping them all day. It means so much to us that we don't have to worry about them. :)
Then I took a full dose of ativan and went to bed. I woke up this morning... and am feeling better.... which leads me to Day 40.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Day 38 - Nausea
Sucked. I couldn't keep anything down. No matter what I took to help with the nausea, anything I ate just kept coming up.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Day 37 - Nausea and acid reflux
What a day! It started off kind of good, then went bad and then good and then bad.
Today was my first day of taking zofran. It was good for awhile, but then I took the dexomethasone. That made me feel awful. And I had to go to a birthday party. I managed to get myself ready and had Brad drive us and the girls to the party. We got there and I started feeling a little better. I was actually climbing all around the gym structures. Another off moment was the fact that I had some acid reflux going. It felt like I had something wanting to come up and out. It wasn't nausea. It was a burning sensation. So I called the on call oncologist to see if I could take Zantac for it. She approved it. Yea! The zantac helped. I had nearly a pound of mashed potatoes and gravy. I was craving something bland. All day I was having ups and downs. My final down... as I was getting ready for bed, I threw up. I felt better afterwards, but I still threw up. It wasn't much... just a little something from dinner. I took an ativan and went to bed.
We will see what day 38 brings.
Today was my first day of taking zofran. It was good for awhile, but then I took the dexomethasone. That made me feel awful. And I had to go to a birthday party. I managed to get myself ready and had Brad drive us and the girls to the party. We got there and I started feeling a little better. I was actually climbing all around the gym structures. Another off moment was the fact that I had some acid reflux going. It felt like I had something wanting to come up and out. It wasn't nausea. It was a burning sensation. So I called the on call oncologist to see if I could take Zantac for it. She approved it. Yea! The zantac helped. I had nearly a pound of mashed potatoes and gravy. I was craving something bland. All day I was having ups and downs. My final down... as I was getting ready for bed, I threw up. I felt better afterwards, but I still threw up. It wasn't much... just a little something from dinner. I took an ativan and went to bed.
We will see what day 38 brings.
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