Day 89 - Round 6: Taxol

Round 6 is now done and in the books. Hooray! I only have 2 more treatments to go. I can say that it feels like it has gone by fast. I wish that it went by even faster. So here's what went down on Thursday.

We dropped the kids off at Becky's and then stopped at Subway to get some sandwiches for later in the day. We got to the office and it was the regular blood draw and then wait for Dr. Luoh. While waiting for Dr. L, I checked my phone and I got a call from my prescription health plan. So I called them to find out why they called me. They were calling because of the Neupogen that Dr. L was trying to prescribe for me. It had to be cleared through the prescription plan, otherwise I would be paying a lot of money. So while I was waiting on hold for them to get information, I got called in the back to see Dr. L. Amazing, he was actually on time. So this time, Dr. L had to wait for me! :) I found out that the only way that I could get the Neopogen would be by mail order and that takes about 8-9 business days. In addition, it would be a $400+ co-pay for me. Um, no. Neulasta is cheaper!

Dr. L came in and asked how I was doing. We went over our regular "How did you do?" He was concerned about my last treatment with the taxol. To make a long story short, we decided to hydrate me the next day with 2 liters of fluids. Then the next step would be to take zofran starting Friday night and continuing for three days. I can take other stuff like compazine and ativan as well. Now with the Neulasta/Neupogen. I told him it was off the table and that I wanted to stick with the Neulasta. It was going to cost more to take the neopogen. Dr. L was just concerned that the neulasta was more than my body could really handle... cause it raised my white blood counts so high. So we decided that I would take the neulasta, but take only 4mg of the stuff. So I will be wasting 2mg or $2k of the drug. Oh well. He feels that the neulasta was making my side effects worse. And that is about all we talked about. We also talked about doing another ultrasound before my next taxol treatment. He says that the legion/tumor was going down. That's good news, but he wanted to take a look at it with an u/s. So that appointment is scheduled for April 24 after work.

Next it was time to get my taxol treatment. I was lucky... I only got 25mg of benadryl. Last time it was 50mg. So this time I wasn't falling asleep or getting really woozy. Treatment went as normal. Nothing special there. We did have the genetic counselor come by to talk about getting tested for the BRCA mutation. The mutation could be from just a sporadic thing or it could be that I always had a mutation. So the blood test, which goes to Salt Lake City, UT, will tell me if I am BRCA1 or BRCA2 positive (there are two genes that could have a mutation). I will know in about three weeks. If it comes back positive, then that means that I have a greater chance of getting ovarian cancer. It also means that the girls have a 50/50 chance of having the mutation. We will not test them because we will leave it up to them to get tested when they are of age.

I am also now "stitch-free"! I still had some left over stitches from my port placement that didn't dissolve because they were sticking up above my skin. So those were removed on Thursday. Now my necklace doesn't catch on the stitch. Hooray! And that's about it for Thursday.

Day 88 - I can't go out, I have to wash my hair

Tomorrow is the day that I go in for infusion #6. After that, I am 3/4 of the way through treatment. Hooray. Well... when I hit next Wednesday I will say that I am 3/4 of the way and I only have two more. I got a card from my Aunt Patti today... it really made me smile when she said that I will only have two more. I can remember when I was staring down the "barrel" and had eight! I can tell you that it has gone fast. I think that having kids and going to work nearly throughout the whole process has made everything go so much faster. I am so happy that May is next month and that will be the last of chemo-sucky.

As for the every day injections... I find out about them tomorrow. We'll see what my insurance covers and what the doctor says. I'll let you know when I find out more. I am not really worried about giving myself a shot every day. Honestly, it's the least of my worries and I have never really been afraid of needles after donating blood when I was 16. That needle was HUGE.

So I washed my "hair" the other day. Every 30 wears I should wash my wig. Well, I had been meaning to do so, but I kept forgetting. So I finally did it I think on Monday. I have special shampoo and leave in conditioner. Now I understand the excuse "I can't go out with you because I have to wash my hair" which I believe was a popular excuse in the 50s and 60s. The process you have to go through to wash the piece. Wasn't it in the 50s and 60s that ladies/girls had those "bump its" that they put in their hair to make their hair poofier in the back? After soaking the hair in the bowl, I had to rinse out the hair. After rinsing, I had to towel dry, do not wring. After that it was spray in the leave in conditioner and then dry overnight. After that I could comb/brush it. I did as instructed and I am pleased to say my hair is so shiny and soft now! I look marvelous!

Oh yes, tomorrow we also meet with the genetic counselor. I will get tested to see if I am a carrier of the cancer gene BRCA. If so it will help guide me with further treatment (surgery to take out my ovaries, test Amelia and Elaina, etc.). I will let you know more about the testing and what the outcomes could mean after we meet with them tomorrow afternoon.

I think that's about it. Until next time.

Oh yes, for dinner... prepared meal - Chicken Pot Pie. Wonderful!

And... here's a picture of me and Shellie at the last chemo-sucky treatment. Again, thanks for the visit Shellie!

Day 87 - The Fun Continues!

Fun times at Chemo High! LOL

I am at work and I look at my phone during my supervisor meeting and what do I see?? I missed two calls from my oncologist's office. Uh oh. I could figure out one of them... a reminder that I have an appointment on Thursday. (yea me! Not). The other one was what was puzzling me. Can anyone guess what the second call was about??? Ha, you'll never guess. Anyway, Dr. Luoh's nurse was calling because Dr. Luoh wants to change my post chemo medication - namely the neulasta shot. Yea, that's the $6k one. So what do they want to replace it with?? Neupogen. What's that you say?? I'll tell you in a moment.

Dr. L seems to think that the Neulasta was giving me the nausea. It's not necessarily a side effect, but he wants to give the Neupogen a try. When I went in for two Saturdays ago to the ER they checked my white blood count. Apparently it was through the roof. It was so high. I'm doing a great job by staying away from the sickies. But he seems to think that since my white blood count is so high, the Neulasta is doing too much. With the Neupogen, the medication will be given in smaller doses over the course of seven days. Yes, I did say seven days. That means that I have to stick myself every day with a needle. I have to give myself an injection. Like I mentioned... the fun continues. So it looks like it's going to be the battles of the Ns... which one will win? All I can say is that if I have the same reaction, I'm going back to one injection. I feel sorry for the people who are diabetic. Eh, it's all good though. The shot would go in in my tummy, arm or thigh... basically where ever - as Angie says - "pinch an inch." Right now the OHSU pharmacy is taking my medical prescription coverage to see how much it would cost me to get the Neupogen. If it's a small copay or not extremely high, then I'll be doing the shot each day. But I guess we'll discuss on Thursday.

Now I am sitting here on the couch watching "Tangled" for the upteenth time.

Day 86

I haven't been posting because there really hasn't been much to say. This weekend went well. I felt great. No anxiety. On Saturday we spent the day with family as Brad had to work Easter day. Sunday was a crazy day. I was so tired by the afternoon. We got the girls up early at 630 so Brad could see what the Easter Bunny brought them. That left the girls on weird sleep/nap schedules. Elaina had a morning nap. Amelia had her normal after lunch nap and then when she woke up, it was time for a second nap for Elaina. It was a lose lose situation. (Gosh, I hate this scratch pad. Touch it and your cursor moves someplace else on the screen. Can the pad be disabled?)

Today was a busy day at work. Tomorrow it will be worse. I'm ready to be over chemo-sucky. I am not looking forward to Thursday and the weekend that come after it. Bleh.

I'm exhausted, so I will sign off for now.

Day 82 - Chemo-sucky

So I guess you could say that yesterday was a very low low low point in my treatment. I will admit i was in tears. The chemo just got to me. I hate it. I will shout it - I hate chemotherapy. Maybe I should call it chemo-sucky because it is definitely NOT theraputic at all.

After this past weekend, I just don't ever want to go back. I don't like the feeling of taxol. First it made me so nauseous that it sent me to the hospital. Then it gave me so much aches and pain that it felt unbearable. And lastly I couldn't kick the feeling of just general icky-ness. So yesterday I just broke down and said I don't want anymore. I don't want to go through anymore of this chemo-sucky. I wanted to end it at 5 treatments. I figure I will still live. I did my research and some doctors say that after 5 treatments... it only lessens your chance of cancer/recurrence by 2-3%. But today I am feeling better. I am feeling - not a million bucks - but feeling better. Enough to understand that I need to do another treatment of taxol. I will take the treatments one at a time. Yesterday I suffered just from anxiety of knowing I have three more to go. But then I took a half an ativan and I felt so much better. I put it all behind me for the time being. This morning when I woke up I felt good.

So... here are the side effects of taxol that I have experienced. Nausea, vomiting, extreme aches and pains (feels like growing pains which are dull and achy and then toss in excrutiating sharp pains) and tingly feet. Then I get the side effects of the anti-nausea meds... constipation. Ugh! So I figure this is how I am going to tackle the next round of chemo-sucky. Since I didn't start to feel gross until Saturday late morning, when I wake up on Saturday the first thing I will do is pop a zofran in my mouth. That will last for 12 hours or so. Then maybe later in the morning depending on how I feel, I may take a compazine. After that I can pop an ativan. In any case, I am going to medicate the crap out of my body and make sure I don't get sick. I will also sip sip sip water or apple juice, or whatever I feel like drinking. I don't want to get nauseated and vomit. Then I don't want to get dehydrated. Like I posted in another post, it's a vicious cycle and I don't want to get caught up in it. In addition, I will ask Dr. L if I should get hydration on Friday. Maybe get hydration when I get my Neulasta shot. As for the pain... I am going to be popping ibuprofen pills... 600 mg if that's okay with Dr. L. I have a plan. I don't want to go back to what I was feeling before. That just sucked. I guess I let it get too far because I wanted to believe that I was going to be one of those people who wasn't going to get sick from the taxol. Hahahahaha!

As for the tingling... or neuropathy. That is something that I will have to deal with. It is something that is not that bad compared to everything else... but when compiled with all the other side effects... it just sucked. So today the aches and pains are gone and I am just dealing with a little bit of tingling. This I can deal with. Oh yes, here's another thing... I can't concentrate. I feel like a toddler with the attention span of 3 minutes. But that happened on Tuesday and Wednesday. Today I felt like an adult with a longer attention span of 5 (cuz I was at work and my attention is constantly being redirected).

But I am feeling good today. Thanks for your support.

Day 81

Chemotherapy sucks.

Day 78 - No April Fools

Taxol was supposed to be the easier of the chemo treatments. Nope, not for me. Last night I spent 5 hours in the ER. Yesterday I couldn't keep anything in. I was either throwing up or it was going out the other way. At about 10p, I couldn't take it anymore, so I told Brad to call the on call oncologist at OHSU. They seemed to think I was dehydrated. It's a vicious cycle. Nauseous, throw up, can't keep fluids down... which makes the nausea even worse. So at about 11p last night Brad and I went to Mt. Hood ER. It took about 2 hours just to get a room. Then it was another two hours. They popped me full of saline (one liter), zofran, pepcid and IB profin stuff for my achy body. By 4a, I was feeling good.

Now it's 9:30a and I just popped a zofran just in case. I don't want to be going through this again. In addition, I have been sipping fluids all morning. So far I have been keeping things down. I did have a small box of cereal. That has stayed down. We shall see what the day brings. I'm just so done with this crap. Last night I told Brad I don't want anymore. I just wanted to give up with the chemo. I was throwing up stomach acid as there was nothing left in my body to heave up. It was terrible.

I think I am going to nap now. I will let you know how I fare later today. Say a few prayers for me. I need it and the encouragement to keep going. I'm lucky to have my mom here to watch the kids for me.