Oh Dear!

Wowsers... some things have happened in the last few months. Namely, I got a new boob.

On September 12, I woke up feeling like poo. My left breast was red and I was in pain. There was puss coming out of my breast and I knew something was really wrong. I called my doctor. She saw me that morning. And I was admitted into the hospital with an infection. To make a long story short, I was started on vancomycin. The next day, I got a PICC line in my right arm. And that evening I was whisked into emergency surgery. Dr. Thakar took out my old implant and washed out the cavity. She then placed a brand new implant in. I spent 5 days in the hospital.

Now I am on nafcillan for a staph infection (not MRSA). I am getting it though an IV, so I am attached to a pump and IV bag 24/7. It's really irritating. Last week, my infectious doctor put me on rosephin. I was excited to be on that drug because I would only have to administer it once a day and wouldn't be attached to a pump. However, I developed an allergic reaction - hives, itchy throat and my eye started to swell up. Um, it was a no go. I was pumped full of benadryl and put back on my old antibiotic.

So here I am... still healing. Wishing that I felt better. Turns out that there was a part of my scar that didn't heal all the way. It started to expand and then the infection got in making the hole bigger. I went from okay to severely not okay really quickly because it was the radiated side. If it had happened on my right side, I probably would not have noticed.

Happy Anniversary!

One year cancer free today.

Need I say more?

Back at Work!

I'm healing really well.

Last Thursday I went and saw Jason Carr and he took my drains out. Since then it's been nice not to have something swinging around. Recovery is slow, but a heck of a lot easier than the mastectomy. I am able to move my arms better. I can reach up and get them out to the side (think cross). Before I couldn't even do that. I don't know if Dr. Thakar loosened up some scar tissue, but my lymphedema seems better. My fingers and hand don't seem to swell - I can really see the veins in my hand. I was told that sometimes the lymphedema gets worse after the surgery. In my case it was getting better.

Last week I also got the all clear sign that there was no cancer in my breast. Dr. Thakar sent tissue samples from my breast (scar tissue) and some muscle tissue to the lab. They dissected it and found absolutely no cancer. So... so far I am cancer free. I am excited. I am waiting for Dr. Munro to release the pathology from my oophorectomy. I have not heard from her... and don't they always say no news is good news?

Today was my first day back at work. It wasn't too bad. I got tired about halfway through. I think I just have a needy and taxing team sometimes. But it wasn't too terribly bad. I have to still watch what I lift. I can't lift more than 10 pounds for three weeks and then I can slowly start to lift things. The scars are healing well. I still have the dermabond on my skin, but that's starting to peel away. I feel like a snake molting! Ha!

I can't remember, but the scopolamine patch... A.W.E.S.O.M.E.!

Oh yes... and I now have the serial numbers to my boobies. It came in the mail... so now I can be identified if I go missing by my boobs!

Until next time...

Surgery Complete!

Here I am sitting at home in bed. My final surgery to this long ordeal is finally complete. Yesterday I underwent a tissue expander to implant exchange and also an oophorectomy. Today I have managed to get around. This surgery recovery is by far much easier than the double mastectomy. I can't say that I am pleased with the results yet, as there is still lots of swelling in the chest area. But the boobs are much softer and I am thankful for that.

Surgery check in time yesterday was at 10. I got into pre-op around 10.35. I had to scrub down and take off all of my clothes and don a lovely hospital gown. Then it was a waiting game. My surgery was scheduled to begin at 12.15. Um... they were more than hour behind schedule. I got a scopolamine patch to put behind my ear to help with nausea. They tried to get a line in my. They poked once. Then I told them to get an ultrasound. The anesthesia doctor put a line in my arm using the u/s. However, just before they were going to take me into that room, the vein collapsed or something. All of a sudden my arm started to hurt, and hurt bad. The tried to get some blood return but didn't. They stopped the IV. Then the nurse anesthesia started one in my hand. That felt so much better. Then she gave me sleepy medicine. I said goodbye to Brad and I was off. I made it to the OR feeling good. I even moved from the gurney to the table. I was talking with the people in the room, making friends. The last thing I remember is having an oxygen mask placed over my nose and mouth. I was gone.

Dr. Munro was the first to do the surgery. Hers was the faster one. Dr. Thaker wanted to go last because she wanted to take her time with my boobies and make sure they looked okay. So apparently the surgery took longer than expected. Dr. Munro got my ovaries and fallopian tubes out okay. She didn't find any abnormalities in that area, so she didn't touch my lymph nodes. Then there was a period of time that no one was doing surgery on me. They had to redress me with the curtains and drapes. I'm led to believe the second surgery took about 3 hours. I woke up in recovery around 710p. I was in and out during that time. I finally came out of it around 730. At around 8, my recovery nurse, Linda, called Brad and he came down to see me. We hung out for about 2 hours in recovery. I had apple juice to drink as well as saltines. After successfully going pee, I was discharged. I wanted to come home to rest.

I have JP drains, which means I got the highly cohesive silicone implants. I am happy that I got these. Today I am sore in my chest (down my cleavage) and in my abdomen. But I have pain pills and I am taking it easy. I wish I could do more, but I want to heal. Well, I am a bit tired, so I am going to go.

At last!

The twins will be here tomorrow!

Tomorrow morning I have my tissue expander/implant exchange... as well as my oophorectomy. I am so excited for this surgery. This afternoon I had my last meal. I just finished taking the magnesium citrate which will help me clear my system out (hint... go for the flavored stuff. The cherry wasn't bad.). For the next 6 hours or so, I will be on a liquid diet. Luckily I gorged on Taco Bell! Yummy. If I am not going to be able to eat for awhile, I want it to be full of calories and not good for me. Hee hee!

Tonight in order to prep for my surgery, I have to shower with the soap that surgeons use to disinfect their hands. In addition, I have to shower with the same stuff tomorrow morning. My wake up call... around 4a. I have to be at the hospital at 5.30. Am I nervous? At times I am. But I am excited... new forever-perky-boobs and permanent birth control. Can't beat that, right?

Dr. Thakar is going to use new implants. The implants are called cohesive silicone implants. They are nicknamed "gummy bear" implants. Europe has been using the implants for awhile now. However, they were just approved in the last few years here in the U.S. CLICK HERE for more information on the implants. Dr. T is going to put them in me and see how they look. If they look good, there they will stay. If they don't look right, we'll go to the original silicone implants. The cohesive ones are great because they feel like breast tissue. There's no liquid inside the implant to move around. She says that it looks better on women who are think like me. There's less "rippling." They also last longer. The only bad thing: she'll put in a drain if she uses the cohesive implants. So I hope that I come out of surgery with drains. :)

After my surgery, I will wake up with nothing around me... meaning I won't be bandaged up and I won't have a bra on. Nice.

Nothing else to report really. I just can't wait to feel a little more comfortable. I am looking forward to having the tissue expanders out of me. Until next time...

An Update

Wow! It has been quite awhile since my last post. A lot of things have happened since the beginning of March which was my last post.

So here's what's happening in my life of cancer.

March I finished up with physical therapy for lymphedema. I finally figured out how to keep it at bay. Then on March 13 we left for Florida for the celebratory cruise. It was really nice to get away from Oregon. I liked the change of scenery. We took a red eye to Ft. Lauderdale and thanks to my good friend, Anne, she helped me get our flights there for cheap.

We got to spend some time with my grandmother before boarding our ship. We also got to see my cousins and my uncle while we were there. We had a great time... lots of visiting and lots of just relaxing. On Saturday March 16, we boarded our cruise along with my mom, dad, Karen, Vern, Deanne, Vince and Lilly. So we had a party 11. The trip started off awesome. We had a great room in the middle of the ship. A nice bed and the girls had their own. A great balcony and a view of Grammy and Papa's room a floor above us. But then it all went to heck after our first port - St. Maarten. I will post separately on that. It's a long story... but a quick overview... routine check of our stateroom turned up bed bug eggs - ewww! And then we had to change rooms and get our clothes laundered. It was terrible what transpired after that. We were very eager to get off of the ship following that.

April: April was a good month. I had two doctor appointments. The first one was with the new gynocologist oncologist, Dr. Munro at OHSU. She was great. I really like her. We talked about the surgery and statistics of what will happen after I get my ovaries out. She said that my chances of getting ovarian cancer drop to standard population. That's awesome odds. We also outlined what will happen during surgery. I told her she is not to take out any lymph nodes in that region. She said that if she sees anything she normally takes out the pockets of nodes. I said, no. I absolutely refuse because I already have lymphedema in my arm and I don't want it in my leg as well. I like the fact that she respects my wishes. But I had a really good vibe about her.

A few days later, I had a follow up with Dr. Naik, my surgeon. I was in and out. Everything is looking good with there. No new lumps or areas to be worried about. We also talked about the gynoc. She said that no one has real issues with Dr. Munro but some are not so certain about Dr. Moffitt. I am sure Dr. Moffitt is a good doctor, but I just didn't like her bedside manner. Very abrupt and not empathetic.

Now that I've picked out my gynoc, we can now schedule the final operation and put everything behind us. Trouble is, is that I have two doctors to work with. Dr. Thaker operates Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. Dr. Munro does her operations on Thursday. Ummm... see a scheduling conflict there??  Ha. So I got a call in late April with the date of May 23. Holy cow! But I want this done and I have to do it then. My surgery was set for the afternoon... 2.30p with check in at 11.30a Then a day or two later, I got another call stating that there was a conflict in scheduling. And so now my real surgery is first thing in the morning. I have check in time at 5.30a with surgery scheduled to start at 7.30a. I'd rather have that surgery time. I won't be able to eat after 11.30p the previous day. But that's okay. I like it because I am not supposed to eat any food. Only clear liquids. I'm going to be hungry. So it worked out for the better.

This month has been busy with doctor appointments. Dentist on May 1 (no cavities for me or Amelia!). Yesterday I had a follow up appointment with the radiation oncologist, Dr. Marquez. Everything is looking good there. I kept getting compliments on my hair. They all say it's really cute. Dr. Marquez asked where I was in my surgeries. I told her that I have my last surgeries scheduled for the end of the month. I'll be getting the tissue expanders out and the implants put in as well as the oopherectomy. She said that will be good because it will save money and time (she mentioned that anesthesia is the most expensive in an operation). We discussed Dr. Thaker and how she just saw her the other day. She said that Dr. Thaker has new implants and was throwing them around in clinic. She said that they feel like gummy bears. I said that YES, I know about those. They have been around for awhile in Europe and they are just catching on here in the states. She said that I am going to love having the TE out. I cannot wait! I will feel so much more comfortable. We also talked about Dr. Moffitt and Dr. M also said she's got an interesting personality. That's why I love the doctors I picked. So truthful. Dr. M also asked if I saw my Radiation Therapists - Dan and Linea. I said yes, I did see them. I got a clean bill of health and I left. I don't have to go back to see Dr. Marquez until December. That seems like ages away.

I did see Dan and Linea. They sooo remembered me. We chatted for quite awhile. I also saw Andrea and Rebecca is pregnant! The front desk receptionist also remembered me. She said she saw my name on the schedule and thought "I know her." So we chatted a little bit. It really nice because these visits are social visits. Dan says I have to come see him more often. I said I will - when I am around.

No doctors appointments today as I have jury duty today and tomorrow. Next week I have my pre-op appointment with Dr. Thaker. We'll go over what kind of implants I want. I've got a pre-surgery anesthesia appointment on Thursday with blood draw. Then on Friday I have a ulta-sound appointment so they can take a look at my ovaries. Oh yea, next Tuesday, Elaina has her first dentist appointment. Then it's surgery day! Mom is flying out to help out, as I will be out of commission for a little while and will need help with the kiddos.

Lymphedema

So we're back to the drawing board. I am now being treated for lymphedema. Big boo. I am also being sort of treated for tendonitis. It's a combination between the two. I am now sporting a compression sleeve and glove with fingers. I got it on Wednesday and have been wearing it during the day. I went to the Transitions "store" at Providence Portland. The lady there was so nice. She even threw in a purple tie dye sleeve "on the house." I need to wear the sleeve all day long until I go on vacation. Then she said that I could wear it whenever I need it. Of course I will wear it on the plane. Hopefully it will do the trick.

Today at Physical Therapy I told my therapist that my hand looks even more swollen. She said the fluid is pooling in my hand and the glove may be loose. So now I have a piece of foam inside it. It feels better. I feel like the fluid can now move out of my fingers and out of my hand. We shall see. I have another appointment on Monday and then a follow up on Tuesday when I get back.

The worst part of the glove - washing your hands in the bathroom after going pee. Most inconvenient. Ah the littlest and stupidest things.

Oh and did I mention that I don't have an appointment with the gynoc until April 17! They only schedule these types of appointments once a month. Of course the once this month happens when I am on vacation. Oh well, I guess I'll schedule my surgery in later April early May.

Hooray!

I'm so excited! I don't know what happened on Wednesday, but the swelling in my fingers continues to go down. In addition, I am able to wear all my wedding rings. And they're SPINNING around on my finger. This is excellent news. I am so relieved! Just wanted to update you all!

A new diagnosis

Had my first physical therapy treatment yesterday for my hand swelling. It is edema, but my PT says that she thinks it's tendonitis rather than lymphedema. Wahoo! The swelling is not bad (she took lots of measurements of my arm, hands and fingers). My fingers were swollen. My wrist was a bit bigger compared to my right hand. When I relayed the symptoms to her and how the pain is radiating up my lower arm right along a tendon, she diagnosed me as tendonitis. So now I've got to do stretches. In addition, they gave me a treatment called iontophoresis. I receive medication via an electric charge. So far it's helping in the area that it was applied. The medication is absorbed directly in the affected area. Today I noticed the pain is less. In addition, the swelling in my middle and index fingers are a little less swollen. They're still swollen, but it has gone down. The swollen fingers may be a direct side effect of the tendonitis. Pray that it's not lymphedema.

Nevertheless, I am getting a prescription for a compression sleeve and glove. I will wear it when I fly next month to Florida. I don't mind. I would rather prevent lymphedema.

So that's it. My next appointment is next week. :)

Grrr.... lymphedema

Grrr... I am so mad. I thought that maybe God would throw me a bone. But instead He teased me with it. Now I've been diagnosed with lymphedema by my primary physician. I've been referred to a lymphedema specialist. I am now waiting for them to call me. I'm upset. I am mad. I am pissed. I don't know why. It's not my fault that I have swelling in my hand. I guess I am mad because I didn't catch the cancer early enough. If I had caught it months earlier, then maybe it wouldn't have travelled to my lymph nodes and I wouldn't have had an axillary dissection. Grrr, still I'm mad. This is going to be chronic. I was being so careful too. But my hand is swollen. I try and kid myself that it isn't, but it is. You can see it mostly around my knuckles.

I won't die from lymphedema, but it can be uncomfortable. I'll have to most likely wear compression sleeves when I fly and do exercises... I think that I have caught it early enough. I just hope that I can get in sooner rather than later so it can be reversed. :)

My doctor is going to call my oncologist to see if it could be a blood clot. He says that sometimes it could be a clot. So I may have to get an u/s of my veins. I doubt that I have a blood clot. There's no pain or shortness of breath. Hmmm...

Other than that... not much to report. I will be calling for my reconstruction appointment in March. Dr. Thakar had me down for a March surgery. I told the scheduler that I was going on vacation and didn't want to do it until afterwards. So the April schedule opens in March. Plus I need to find a new gynoc for the oophorectomy since I want to do both of them at the same time. So things are moving foward....

What does it take??

So I'm a little concerned... my arm/hand has been acting up. I don't know if it's the beginnin of lymphedema or tendenitis. I had some swelling in my fingers. That has since gone away, but it's tight when I bend my wrist. So I made a call to my doctor on Tuesday asking for a referral from him to get me in to see a physical therapist. I haven't gotten a call back. It's Friday. *sigh* So I call back and I wait on hold for 10+ minutes to only leave ANOTHER message. Wonder if anyone will get back to me this time. This is so irritating. I'm almost tempted to text his wife and ask what's up. I want to get my hand evaluated... because it is reversible.

On another note, I got a call from Dr. Thakar's office. They want to schedule an appointment for my tissue expander replacement!!! Yay! That means I have to find a new gynonc.

And... this week has been a pain in the arse. Poor Elaina got the stomach bug. And now I have pink eye. I don't know how I got it. I haven't been touching my eye. I just woke up with it pink. It's not itchy or hurting. So *sigh*.

Re-reading

Today I went back and looked at the very first post. Makes my heart ache for that woman. Makes my stomach hurt thinking of what she was going through. But I love the fact that she remained so upbeat and positive.

There were lots of emotions running through at the time. The posting was very clinical, but I needed to get it out. Many people wanted to know what had happened up until then. And that was all that I could muster at the time. I needed to focus on what was to come and make the best of the situation. I didn't want to think of what could happen. It's always in the back of your mind... even today. But that post was very scary. Very scary.

Today... I am happy to report that I am growing ever closer to my cruise. I am happy to be above ground. I am one day closer to getting my final reconstruction surgery (and oophorectomy). I am one step closer to putting all this crap behind me.

I sometimes have to laugh because if I didn't have a pill box I wouldn't remember to take my daily tamoxifen pill. That's how much life has returned to normal. Interesting how life was all about doctors appointments last year. I would mark each day with how much closer I was to another appointment. Now I mark it with holidays and birthdays because that's how Amelia likes to remember how to count down the year.

Really? A letter?

So I've done away with counting the days. I am going to do mile markers... significant days. I guess the next marker will be on the 25th where I learned I wasn't going to die and I was going to beat the cancer.

Funny thing... I got a letter from OHSU earlier this week. It was from the diagnostic imaging services department. Hmmm... so I tore open the letter and it was asking me to schedule my appointment for a mammogram. It had to have been just an auto-generated letter, because they would have found I've had numerous MRIs, PET scans and mammograms in the past year. The funniest part of the letter:

"Be aware that many breast cancers do not produce symptoms."

Why I felt that was funny, I don't know. Maybe it's my sense of humor or maybe the fact that I've gone through cancer. Either way, it was sort of a generic letter and OHSU shouldn't send out letters like this without cross referencing the patient's chart.

Day 366 - ONE YEAR!

One year today I was at the Oregon Zoo with my family enjoying the day. In just a few short hours, my life would forever change with one phone call.

Today marks one year since my breast cancer diagnosis. One of my friends sent me a shirt during treatment that read "I will fight and I will win." Well, at this pivotal mark in my life, I can say that I have won. I have won my short term goal of getting all the cancer out of my body. I have won the right to see and enjoy another day. I continue to fight cancer every day by taking my tamoxifen. Each day, though, I am coming out victorious and I plan to continue on this streak. I am going to be undefeated.

Reflecting over the past year... I've had lots of ups, downs and in betweens. I can't stress enough - if I didn't have the love and support from my friends and family - this victory would not have been easy. The first few days were filled with uncertainty, followed by anger and then with the will to survive. I have learned a lot about myself - my limitations over the year. I have also learned a lot about breast cancer and the treatment itself. All this I believe I have shared with you over the course of the journey.

Following my last radiation treatment - almost four months ago - you may have noticed that my blogging has been sporadic. I have rejoined gotten back in the fast lane of life. I never exited life's freeway, just merely merged over to the slow lane during treatment... only to merge in and out of the slow lane and center lane. But I can now say that I am back in the fast lane moving with time and enjoying life. And that is why I am not blogging as much. I'm enjoying life. Spending time with my family and friends and trying to leave as much of cancer behind me as possible.

Cancer survivors often say that there will be a time when you don't think about cancer. I admit that I do have my days where I don't remember the past year and then there are days where I remember. I stretch a certain way or the kids push on my chest - they are all reminders. I get out of the shower and look at my chest and I don't cringe (never did). I just look and think what beautiful skin I have and that I've finally got the big boobs I always wanted. I look ahead at what is to come instead of dwelling in the past.

Cancer will always be a part of my life. I accept that. But I will not let it rule my life.

And with that... I've got 62 more days until I go on my celebratory cruise. When I return, I'll have my tissue expander and oophorectomy surgery and I will be done.

If you don't mind, will you please respond to my poll to the right of the blog. Some of you have told me I should publish my blog. I want to know if you think I should.

Day 362 - Almost there....

Wow... I can't believe today marks 362 days since my diagnosis. I knew I would get to this date, but it seems to be flying by.

I'll be back in a few days. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't croaked. :)