Today I went back and looked at the very first post. Makes my heart ache for that woman. Makes my stomach hurt thinking of what she was going through. But I love the fact that she remained so upbeat and positive.
There were lots of emotions running through at the time. The posting was very clinical, but I needed to get it out. Many people wanted to know what had happened up until then. And that was all that I could muster at the time. I needed to focus on what was to come and make the best of the situation. I didn't want to think of what could happen. It's always in the back of your mind... even today. But that post was very scary. Very scary.
Today... I am happy to report that I am growing ever closer to my cruise. I am happy to be above ground. I am one day closer to getting my final reconstruction surgery (and oophorectomy). I am one step closer to putting all this crap behind me.
I sometimes have to laugh because if I didn't have a pill box I wouldn't remember to take my daily tamoxifen pill. That's how much life has returned to normal. Interesting how life was all about doctors appointments last year. I would mark each day with how much closer I was to another appointment. Now I mark it with holidays and birthdays because that's how Amelia likes to remember how to count down the year.
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