Hooray!

I'm so excited! I don't know what happened on Wednesday, but the swelling in my fingers continues to go down. In addition, I am able to wear all my wedding rings. And they're SPINNING around on my finger. This is excellent news. I am so relieved! Just wanted to update you all!

A new diagnosis

Had my first physical therapy treatment yesterday for my hand swelling. It is edema, but my PT says that she thinks it's tendonitis rather than lymphedema. Wahoo! The swelling is not bad (she took lots of measurements of my arm, hands and fingers). My fingers were swollen. My wrist was a bit bigger compared to my right hand. When I relayed the symptoms to her and how the pain is radiating up my lower arm right along a tendon, she diagnosed me as tendonitis. So now I've got to do stretches. In addition, they gave me a treatment called iontophoresis. I receive medication via an electric charge. So far it's helping in the area that it was applied. The medication is absorbed directly in the affected area. Today I noticed the pain is less. In addition, the swelling in my middle and index fingers are a little less swollen. They're still swollen, but it has gone down. The swollen fingers may be a direct side effect of the tendonitis. Pray that it's not lymphedema.

Nevertheless, I am getting a prescription for a compression sleeve and glove. I will wear it when I fly next month to Florida. I don't mind. I would rather prevent lymphedema.

So that's it. My next appointment is next week. :)

Grrr.... lymphedema

Grrr... I am so mad. I thought that maybe God would throw me a bone. But instead He teased me with it. Now I've been diagnosed with lymphedema by my primary physician. I've been referred to a lymphedema specialist. I am now waiting for them to call me. I'm upset. I am mad. I am pissed. I don't know why. It's not my fault that I have swelling in my hand. I guess I am mad because I didn't catch the cancer early enough. If I had caught it months earlier, then maybe it wouldn't have travelled to my lymph nodes and I wouldn't have had an axillary dissection. Grrr, still I'm mad. This is going to be chronic. I was being so careful too. But my hand is swollen. I try and kid myself that it isn't, but it is. You can see it mostly around my knuckles.

I won't die from lymphedema, but it can be uncomfortable. I'll have to most likely wear compression sleeves when I fly and do exercises... I think that I have caught it early enough. I just hope that I can get in sooner rather than later so it can be reversed. :)

My doctor is going to call my oncologist to see if it could be a blood clot. He says that sometimes it could be a clot. So I may have to get an u/s of my veins. I doubt that I have a blood clot. There's no pain or shortness of breath. Hmmm...

Other than that... not much to report. I will be calling for my reconstruction appointment in March. Dr. Thakar had me down for a March surgery. I told the scheduler that I was going on vacation and didn't want to do it until afterwards. So the April schedule opens in March. Plus I need to find a new gynoc for the oophorectomy since I want to do both of them at the same time. So things are moving foward....

What does it take??

So I'm a little concerned... my arm/hand has been acting up. I don't know if it's the beginnin of lymphedema or tendenitis. I had some swelling in my fingers. That has since gone away, but it's tight when I bend my wrist. So I made a call to my doctor on Tuesday asking for a referral from him to get me in to see a physical therapist. I haven't gotten a call back. It's Friday. *sigh* So I call back and I wait on hold for 10+ minutes to only leave ANOTHER message. Wonder if anyone will get back to me this time. This is so irritating. I'm almost tempted to text his wife and ask what's up. I want to get my hand evaluated... because it is reversible.

On another note, I got a call from Dr. Thakar's office. They want to schedule an appointment for my tissue expander replacement!!! Yay! That means I have to find a new gynonc.

And... this week has been a pain in the arse. Poor Elaina got the stomach bug. And now I have pink eye. I don't know how I got it. I haven't been touching my eye. I just woke up with it pink. It's not itchy or hurting. So *sigh*.

Re-reading

Today I went back and looked at the very first post. Makes my heart ache for that woman. Makes my stomach hurt thinking of what she was going through. But I love the fact that she remained so upbeat and positive.

There were lots of emotions running through at the time. The posting was very clinical, but I needed to get it out. Many people wanted to know what had happened up until then. And that was all that I could muster at the time. I needed to focus on what was to come and make the best of the situation. I didn't want to think of what could happen. It's always in the back of your mind... even today. But that post was very scary. Very scary.

Today... I am happy to report that I am growing ever closer to my cruise. I am happy to be above ground. I am one day closer to getting my final reconstruction surgery (and oophorectomy). I am one step closer to putting all this crap behind me.

I sometimes have to laugh because if I didn't have a pill box I wouldn't remember to take my daily tamoxifen pill. That's how much life has returned to normal. Interesting how life was all about doctors appointments last year. I would mark each day with how much closer I was to another appointment. Now I mark it with holidays and birthdays because that's how Amelia likes to remember how to count down the year.

Really? A letter?

So I've done away with counting the days. I am going to do mile markers... significant days. I guess the next marker will be on the 25th where I learned I wasn't going to die and I was going to beat the cancer.

Funny thing... I got a letter from OHSU earlier this week. It was from the diagnostic imaging services department. Hmmm... so I tore open the letter and it was asking me to schedule my appointment for a mammogram. It had to have been just an auto-generated letter, because they would have found I've had numerous MRIs, PET scans and mammograms in the past year. The funniest part of the letter:

"Be aware that many breast cancers do not produce symptoms."

Why I felt that was funny, I don't know. Maybe it's my sense of humor or maybe the fact that I've gone through cancer. Either way, it was sort of a generic letter and OHSU shouldn't send out letters like this without cross referencing the patient's chart.

Day 366 - ONE YEAR!

One year today I was at the Oregon Zoo with my family enjoying the day. In just a few short hours, my life would forever change with one phone call.

Today marks one year since my breast cancer diagnosis. One of my friends sent me a shirt during treatment that read "I will fight and I will win." Well, at this pivotal mark in my life, I can say that I have won. I have won my short term goal of getting all the cancer out of my body. I have won the right to see and enjoy another day. I continue to fight cancer every day by taking my tamoxifen. Each day, though, I am coming out victorious and I plan to continue on this streak. I am going to be undefeated.

Reflecting over the past year... I've had lots of ups, downs and in betweens. I can't stress enough - if I didn't have the love and support from my friends and family - this victory would not have been easy. The first few days were filled with uncertainty, followed by anger and then with the will to survive. I have learned a lot about myself - my limitations over the year. I have also learned a lot about breast cancer and the treatment itself. All this I believe I have shared with you over the course of the journey.

Following my last radiation treatment - almost four months ago - you may have noticed that my blogging has been sporadic. I have rejoined gotten back in the fast lane of life. I never exited life's freeway, just merely merged over to the slow lane during treatment... only to merge in and out of the slow lane and center lane. But I can now say that I am back in the fast lane moving with time and enjoying life. And that is why I am not blogging as much. I'm enjoying life. Spending time with my family and friends and trying to leave as much of cancer behind me as possible.

Cancer survivors often say that there will be a time when you don't think about cancer. I admit that I do have my days where I don't remember the past year and then there are days where I remember. I stretch a certain way or the kids push on my chest - they are all reminders. I get out of the shower and look at my chest and I don't cringe (never did). I just look and think what beautiful skin I have and that I've finally got the big boobs I always wanted. I look ahead at what is to come instead of dwelling in the past.

Cancer will always be a part of my life. I accept that. But I will not let it rule my life.

And with that... I've got 62 more days until I go on my celebratory cruise. When I return, I'll have my tissue expander and oophorectomy surgery and I will be done.

If you don't mind, will you please respond to my poll to the right of the blog. Some of you have told me I should publish my blog. I want to know if you think I should.