Today I went back and looked at the very first post. Makes my heart ache for that woman. Makes my stomach hurt thinking of what she was going through. But I love the fact that she remained so upbeat and positive.
There were lots of emotions running through at the time. The posting was very clinical, but I needed to get it out. Many people wanted to know what had happened up until then. And that was all that I could muster at the time. I needed to focus on what was to come and make the best of the situation. I didn't want to think of what could happen. It's always in the back of your mind... even today. But that post was very scary. Very scary.
Today... I am happy to report that I am growing ever closer to my cruise. I am happy to be above ground. I am one day closer to getting my final reconstruction surgery (and oophorectomy). I am one step closer to putting all this crap behind me.
I sometimes have to laugh because if I didn't have a pill box I wouldn't remember to take my daily tamoxifen pill. That's how much life has returned to normal. Interesting how life was all about doctors appointments last year. I would mark each day with how much closer I was to another appointment. Now I mark it with holidays and birthdays because that's how Amelia likes to remember how to count down the year.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Really? A letter?
So I've done away with counting the days. I am going to do mile markers... significant days. I guess the next marker will be on the 25th where I learned I wasn't going to die and I was going to beat the cancer.
Funny thing... I got a letter from OHSU earlier this week. It was from the diagnostic imaging services department. Hmmm... so I tore open the letter and it was asking me to schedule my appointment for a mammogram. It had to have been just an auto-generated letter, because they would have found I've had numerous MRIs, PET scans and mammograms in the past year. The funniest part of the letter:
Why I felt that was funny, I don't know. Maybe it's my sense of humor or maybe the fact that I've gone through cancer. Either way, it was sort of a generic letter and OHSU shouldn't send out letters like this without cross referencing the patient's chart.
Funny thing... I got a letter from OHSU earlier this week. It was from the diagnostic imaging services department. Hmmm... so I tore open the letter and it was asking me to schedule my appointment for a mammogram. It had to have been just an auto-generated letter, because they would have found I've had numerous MRIs, PET scans and mammograms in the past year. The funniest part of the letter:
"Be aware that many breast cancers do not produce symptoms."
Why I felt that was funny, I don't know. Maybe it's my sense of humor or maybe the fact that I've gone through cancer. Either way, it was sort of a generic letter and OHSU shouldn't send out letters like this without cross referencing the patient's chart.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Day 366 - ONE YEAR!
One year today I was at the Oregon Zoo with my family enjoying the day. In just a few short hours, my life would forever change with one phone call.
Today marks one year since my breast cancer diagnosis. One of my friends sent me a shirt during treatment that read "I will fight and I will win." Well, at this pivotal mark in my life, I can say that I have won. I have won my short term goal of getting all the cancer out of my body. I have won the right to see and enjoy another day. I continue to fight cancer every day by taking my tamoxifen. Each day, though, I am coming out victorious and I plan to continue on this streak. I am going to be undefeated.
Reflecting over the past year... I've had lots of ups, downs and in betweens. I can't stress enough - if I didn't have the love and support from my friends and family - this victory would not have been easy. The first few days were filled with uncertainty, followed by anger and then with the will to survive. I have learned a lot about myself - my limitations over the year. I have also learned a lot about breast cancer and the treatment itself. All this I believe I have shared with you over the course of the journey.
Following my last radiation treatment - almost four months ago - you may have noticed that my blogging has been sporadic. I have rejoined gotten back in the fast lane of life. I never exited life's freeway, just merely merged over to the slow lane during treatment... only to merge in and out of the slow lane and center lane. But I can now say that I am back in the fast lane moving with time and enjoying life. And that is why I am not blogging as much. I'm enjoying life. Spending time with my family and friends and trying to leave as much of cancer behind me as possible.
Cancer survivors often say that there will be a time when you don't think about cancer. I admit that I do have my days where I don't remember the past year and then there are days where I remember. I stretch a certain way or the kids push on my chest - they are all reminders. I get out of the shower and look at my chest and I don't cringe (never did). I just look and think what beautiful skin I have and that I've finally got the big boobs I always wanted. I look ahead at what is to come instead of dwelling in the past.
Cancer will always be a part of my life. I accept that. But I will not let it rule my life.
And with that... I've got 62 more days until I go on my celebratory cruise. When I return, I'll have my tissue expander and oophorectomy surgery and I will be done.
If you don't mind, will you please respond to my poll to the right of the blog. Some of you have told me I should publish my blog. I want to know if you think I should.
Today marks one year since my breast cancer diagnosis. One of my friends sent me a shirt during treatment that read "I will fight and I will win." Well, at this pivotal mark in my life, I can say that I have won. I have won my short term goal of getting all the cancer out of my body. I have won the right to see and enjoy another day. I continue to fight cancer every day by taking my tamoxifen. Each day, though, I am coming out victorious and I plan to continue on this streak. I am going to be undefeated.
Reflecting over the past year... I've had lots of ups, downs and in betweens. I can't stress enough - if I didn't have the love and support from my friends and family - this victory would not have been easy. The first few days were filled with uncertainty, followed by anger and then with the will to survive. I have learned a lot about myself - my limitations over the year. I have also learned a lot about breast cancer and the treatment itself. All this I believe I have shared with you over the course of the journey.
Following my last radiation treatment - almost four months ago - you may have noticed that my blogging has been sporadic. I have rejoined gotten back in the fast lane of life. I never exited life's freeway, just merely merged over to the slow lane during treatment... only to merge in and out of the slow lane and center lane. But I can now say that I am back in the fast lane moving with time and enjoying life. And that is why I am not blogging as much. I'm enjoying life. Spending time with my family and friends and trying to leave as much of cancer behind me as possible.
Cancer survivors often say that there will be a time when you don't think about cancer. I admit that I do have my days where I don't remember the past year and then there are days where I remember. I stretch a certain way or the kids push on my chest - they are all reminders. I get out of the shower and look at my chest and I don't cringe (never did). I just look and think what beautiful skin I have and that I've finally got the big boobs I always wanted. I look ahead at what is to come instead of dwelling in the past.
Cancer will always be a part of my life. I accept that. But I will not let it rule my life.
And with that... I've got 62 more days until I go on my celebratory cruise. When I return, I'll have my tissue expander and oophorectomy surgery and I will be done.
If you don't mind, will you please respond to my poll to the right of the blog. Some of you have told me I should publish my blog. I want to know if you think I should.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Day 362 - Almost there....
Wow... I can't believe today marks 362 days since my diagnosis. I knew I would get to this date, but it seems to be flying by.
I'll be back in a few days. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't croaked. :)
I'll be back in a few days. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't croaked. :)
Monday, December 31, 2012
Day 353 - Goodbye 2012!
I have never been so glad to kiss a year goodbye. This year has been one of those that I wish to forget. For the most part it was decent... especially the back half, but the first six months sucked a$$.
But before I drop kick it into the past, I want to thank everyone who has been following this blog. Without your support, I don't think I would have made it. Yes, I would have made it to 2013, but not in great spirits that I am in now. Love to my family and friends. There are a few of you... and you know who you are... that without your constant prayers and just kind words of encouragement have lifted my spirits immensely.
I am happy to be alive.
2013 goals - new boobs and maintenance visits to the doctor.
Can't wait for it to start... only 7 hours 45 minutes... and I'll be ringing it in by sleeping. Yes, got to go to work at 4a.
PS Did I mention that I am now potty training Elaina???
But before I drop kick it into the past, I want to thank everyone who has been following this blog. Without your support, I don't think I would have made it. Yes, I would have made it to 2013, but not in great spirits that I am in now. Love to my family and friends. There are a few of you... and you know who you are... that without your constant prayers and just kind words of encouragement have lifted my spirits immensely.
I am happy to be alive.
2013 goals - new boobs and maintenance visits to the doctor.
Can't wait for it to start... only 7 hours 45 minutes... and I'll be ringing it in by sleeping. Yes, got to go to work at 4a.
PS Did I mention that I am now potty training Elaina???
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Day 333 - So brave
There's really nothing going on in my world. This Thursday I have my two month follow up with Dr. Chui, my oncologist. Still plugging and chugging away. I can't believe that it's been nearly a year since the diagnosis. It's gone by so fast.
On a different note... I learned that Vern's brother's wife has cancer (learned of this last month). However, I found out today what the course of treatment will be. She is choosing to be brave and strong. She has decided to forgo chemo treatments. She has cancer in both her liver and pancreas. Please pray for her and her family - to give them all courage and strength. Love to you guys!
On a different note... I learned that Vern's brother's wife has cancer (learned of this last month). However, I found out today what the course of treatment will be. She is choosing to be brave and strong. She has decided to forgo chemo treatments. She has cancer in both her liver and pancreas. Please pray for her and her family - to give them all courage and strength. Love to you guys!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Day 324 - Happy Birthday!
Wowsers, it's been a long, long time since my last post.
Today is my birthday and I am happy that I am celebrating my birthday still alive, healthy and cancer free. I plan to spend a lot more birthdays this way.
Other than that, not much new is happening. I am still taking tamoxifen. I haven't gotten any adverse side effects. I sometimes get hot flashes, but I don't know if that's because of me running around the house, standing too close to the oven or drinking hot beverages. I seem to notice I get them when I am doing one of those activities. So go figure. My next doctor appointment is December 13. That's with Dr. Chui.
I am still doing my arm stretches. My left arm continues to tighten - rather my pectoral muscle. So I am stretching that religiously. I can move my arm straight up and to the side and up, but when it comes to stretching it behind me, that is where I find the most resistence. But am told that if I keep at it like it will get better.
Until next time...
Today is my birthday and I am happy that I am celebrating my birthday still alive, healthy and cancer free. I plan to spend a lot more birthdays this way.
Other than that, not much new is happening. I am still taking tamoxifen. I haven't gotten any adverse side effects. I sometimes get hot flashes, but I don't know if that's because of me running around the house, standing too close to the oven or drinking hot beverages. I seem to notice I get them when I am doing one of those activities. So go figure. My next doctor appointment is December 13. That's with Dr. Chui.
I am still doing my arm stretches. My left arm continues to tighten - rather my pectoral muscle. So I am stretching that religiously. I can move my arm straight up and to the side and up, but when it comes to stretching it behind me, that is where I find the most resistence. But am told that if I keep at it like it will get better.
Until next time...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)