I have never been so glad to kiss a year goodbye. This year has been one of those that I wish to forget. For the most part it was decent... especially the back half, but the first six months sucked a$$.
But before I drop kick it into the past, I want to thank everyone who has been following this blog. Without your support, I don't think I would have made it. Yes, I would have made it to 2013, but not in great spirits that I am in now. Love to my family and friends. There are a few of you... and you know who you are... that without your constant prayers and just kind words of encouragement have lifted my spirits immensely.
I am happy to be alive.
2013 goals - new boobs and maintenance visits to the doctor.
Can't wait for it to start... only 7 hours 45 minutes... and I'll be ringing it in by sleeping. Yes, got to go to work at 4a.
PS Did I mention that I am now potty training Elaina???
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Day 333 - So brave
There's really nothing going on in my world. This Thursday I have my two month follow up with Dr. Chui, my oncologist. Still plugging and chugging away. I can't believe that it's been nearly a year since the diagnosis. It's gone by so fast.
On a different note... I learned that Vern's brother's wife has cancer (learned of this last month). However, I found out today what the course of treatment will be. She is choosing to be brave and strong. She has decided to forgo chemo treatments. She has cancer in both her liver and pancreas. Please pray for her and her family - to give them all courage and strength. Love to you guys!
On a different note... I learned that Vern's brother's wife has cancer (learned of this last month). However, I found out today what the course of treatment will be. She is choosing to be brave and strong. She has decided to forgo chemo treatments. She has cancer in both her liver and pancreas. Please pray for her and her family - to give them all courage and strength. Love to you guys!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Day 324 - Happy Birthday!
Wowsers, it's been a long, long time since my last post.
Today is my birthday and I am happy that I am celebrating my birthday still alive, healthy and cancer free. I plan to spend a lot more birthdays this way.
Other than that, not much new is happening. I am still taking tamoxifen. I haven't gotten any adverse side effects. I sometimes get hot flashes, but I don't know if that's because of me running around the house, standing too close to the oven or drinking hot beverages. I seem to notice I get them when I am doing one of those activities. So go figure. My next doctor appointment is December 13. That's with Dr. Chui.
I am still doing my arm stretches. My left arm continues to tighten - rather my pectoral muscle. So I am stretching that religiously. I can move my arm straight up and to the side and up, but when it comes to stretching it behind me, that is where I find the most resistence. But am told that if I keep at it like it will get better.
Until next time...
Today is my birthday and I am happy that I am celebrating my birthday still alive, healthy and cancer free. I plan to spend a lot more birthdays this way.
Other than that, not much new is happening. I am still taking tamoxifen. I haven't gotten any adverse side effects. I sometimes get hot flashes, but I don't know if that's because of me running around the house, standing too close to the oven or drinking hot beverages. I seem to notice I get them when I am doing one of those activities. So go figure. My next doctor appointment is December 13. That's with Dr. Chui.
I am still doing my arm stretches. My left arm continues to tighten - rather my pectoral muscle. So I am stretching that religiously. I can move my arm straight up and to the side and up, but when it comes to stretching it behind me, that is where I find the most resistence. But am told that if I keep at it like it will get better.
Until next time...
Friday, November 9, 2012
Day 301 - I understand
Sorry for my last post. I was a bit upset and irritated at my situation for the first time since I learned of my diagnosis. I really wanted to get my whole ordeal over and done with this year. First for the sake of chalking off 2012 and starting 2013 fresh and new and second so I don't have to go through a new deductible and out of pocket max for insurance. So when I learned that it wouldn't be until March of 2013, I was a bit pissed. I had high hopes for this year.
So it looks like I will be getting my reconstruction surgery in March or April. I was also upset because my cruise is in March and I was hoping it would all be done and over by then. So now I am wondering if it would be good to get my surgery sometime in February or just wait until I get back. Either way, I'm getting boobs! LOL.
I was also a little irritated because the medical assistant also works with me at Xerox. She doesn't like me... and we had a little kerfluffel. In any case, she said that she won't say anything about my appointment outside of the office. I said "okay". Well, no, she can't say anything. That would be SOO WRONG. In any case, I was ticked that she felt that she had to say something like that. Whatever. I'm over it. And I saw her today. In fact she was sitting right behind me.
On Wednesday I had my follow up with Dr. Marquez, my radiation oncologist. She is the one who shed light on why they are waiting for the next surgery. First off, they want my skin to be normal color. Right now it looks like I have a tan. Next they want to make sure that the elasticity of my skin remains good. They want pliable skin. I understand now. Dr. Marquez said I wouldn't be ready until next year. And since I know what they're looking for, I am okay with it. Really I am. It just took me a night to stew over it. She also suggested that I do the oophorectomy at the same time. I agree.
Dr. Thakar, the plastic surgeon, gave me a prescription for some lotion to rub on my boob and under arm. I took it to the pharmacy. My insurance didn't cover it... $93. I said, no thanks. They finally got it to $30. I said I'll try it for $30. It's 5.4 ounces... and get this... it's a skin bleacher. Ha. I wonder if Michael Jackson used it all over his body.
On an unrelated note... it's open enrollment at work. In order to get a discount for my medical benefits (up to $600/year), I have to have bloodwork done. So yesterday I went in to Quest Diagnostics to get my blood drawn. After three pokes they said that they were unable to get my blood. I told them that I had small veins, pointed to a few places they could poke me... but they never listened. Irritating. So then I called my doctor's office and got an appointment with my physician for today. I went in... and it took two pokes and two different people to get my blood. They told me that instead of using the vacuum syringe thing, it's better for me to just use a regular syringe to extract the blood. The vacuum has such a strong suction that it blows out the vein. Aha! So they got my blood they needed, I got my flu shot and got to see my doctor. It's the first time that I have seen him since January. I've seen his wife more than him. So we chatted a bit. He said that he wished he knew me better because I told him that this year has gone by soo incredibly fast. He said that's good because it's all dependent on attitude. I also got my flu shot! Yay!
Oh yes, and how could I fail to forget... I got to see Dan on Wednesday. He gave me a great big hug and asked how I was doing. He said that we need to go out and have drinks. I told him I want a ride in his boat. He said no problem. In any case... he had to run and work on a patient, so I didn't get too much time to chat with him. He did say he'd be upset if I didn't stop and say hi. :)
So it looks like I will be getting my reconstruction surgery in March or April. I was also upset because my cruise is in March and I was hoping it would all be done and over by then. So now I am wondering if it would be good to get my surgery sometime in February or just wait until I get back. Either way, I'm getting boobs! LOL.
I was also a little irritated because the medical assistant also works with me at Xerox. She doesn't like me... and we had a little kerfluffel. In any case, she said that she won't say anything about my appointment outside of the office. I said "okay". Well, no, she can't say anything. That would be SOO WRONG. In any case, I was ticked that she felt that she had to say something like that. Whatever. I'm over it. And I saw her today. In fact she was sitting right behind me.
On Wednesday I had my follow up with Dr. Marquez, my radiation oncologist. She is the one who shed light on why they are waiting for the next surgery. First off, they want my skin to be normal color. Right now it looks like I have a tan. Next they want to make sure that the elasticity of my skin remains good. They want pliable skin. I understand now. Dr. Marquez said I wouldn't be ready until next year. And since I know what they're looking for, I am okay with it. Really I am. It just took me a night to stew over it. She also suggested that I do the oophorectomy at the same time. I agree.
Dr. Thakar, the plastic surgeon, gave me a prescription for some lotion to rub on my boob and under arm. I took it to the pharmacy. My insurance didn't cover it... $93. I said, no thanks. They finally got it to $30. I said I'll try it for $30. It's 5.4 ounces... and get this... it's a skin bleacher. Ha. I wonder if Michael Jackson used it all over his body.
On an unrelated note... it's open enrollment at work. In order to get a discount for my medical benefits (up to $600/year), I have to have bloodwork done. So yesterday I went in to Quest Diagnostics to get my blood drawn. After three pokes they said that they were unable to get my blood. I told them that I had small veins, pointed to a few places they could poke me... but they never listened. Irritating. So then I called my doctor's office and got an appointment with my physician for today. I went in... and it took two pokes and two different people to get my blood. They told me that instead of using the vacuum syringe thing, it's better for me to just use a regular syringe to extract the blood. The vacuum has such a strong suction that it blows out the vein. Aha! So they got my blood they needed, I got my flu shot and got to see my doctor. It's the first time that I have seen him since January. I've seen his wife more than him. So we chatted a bit. He said that he wished he knew me better because I told him that this year has gone by soo incredibly fast. He said that's good because it's all dependent on attitude. I also got my flu shot! Yay!
Oh yes, and how could I fail to forget... I got to see Dan on Wednesday. He gave me a great big hug and asked how I was doing. He said that we need to go out and have drinks. I told him I want a ride in his boat. He said no problem. In any case... he had to run and work on a patient, so I didn't get too much time to chat with him. He did say he'd be upset if I didn't stop and say hi. :)
Monday, November 5, 2012
Day 297 - 6 month wait
Went to the reconstruction surgeon today. I have to wait until March at the earliest to get my tissue expanders replaced with the real implants. Needless to say I am extremely bummed.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Day 294 - One Year Ago
It's interesting how life throws you a curve ball. Tomorrow will mark one year since I first went into the doctor's office with my suspected lump in my breast. I made the appointment most likely today and had the doctor look at me the very next day. It puts a lump in my throat. To think that I had cancer one year ago and didn't know it. I went in and the doctor thought that it was a clogged milk duct... mastitis. However, deep within me I knew it wasn't. A clogged milk duct would hurt like the dickens. I was also still breast feeding Elaina one year ago. Crazy. One year ago tomorrow, the doctor would have said try the old wives remedy by sticking cabbage leaves on your breast, then call me in a week if the lump doesn't go away. I must admit, I didn't run out and buy cabbage, so by the time I did, another week had elapsed. I also didn't want to go to work smelling like cabbage, so I would put it on my breast when I got home from work. Needless to say, the cabbage didn't work and then I just got busy with the holidays.... and we all know what happened at the beginning of 2012.
But I am a survivor. I survived my initial breast cancer diagnosis. I am cancer free and all my doctors are going to do whatever they can to keep me cancer free. And yes, I am calling myself a survivor. I had meant to post earlier... but after talking with one of my friends from grammar school - who had ovarian cancer in her teens - I switched my thinking. I realized that I was talking about my cancer in the past tense. I had cancer. I had surgery. I had radiation. Thank you, Andi!
Then in the past week, someone told me they were just recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I told her that I was a survivor. It was the first time that I had actually spoke the words "I'm a survivor." It felt weird. Really weird. But it felt good. In my head I knew I was a survivor... but to hear them spill out of my mouth felt surreal... kind of like the first time you hold your baby. I felt almost guilty to say that I am a survivor - almost. Here's another woman who is just starting her battle, and I am relishing in the fact that I am done (for the most part).
My mom made the most beautiful bracelet for me. It's a glass bead bracelet. On the white beads there are pink ribbons. At the clasp, there's an angel and a metal ribbon. It's wonderful and I love wearing it. I wear it with pride.
While I haven't made it to the one year mark of learning of my diagnosis, I don't think I could have made it this far without the loving support of my family and friends. Thank you.
But I am a survivor. I survived my initial breast cancer diagnosis. I am cancer free and all my doctors are going to do whatever they can to keep me cancer free. And yes, I am calling myself a survivor. I had meant to post earlier... but after talking with one of my friends from grammar school - who had ovarian cancer in her teens - I switched my thinking. I realized that I was talking about my cancer in the past tense. I had cancer. I had surgery. I had radiation. Thank you, Andi!
Then in the past week, someone told me they were just recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I told her that I was a survivor. It was the first time that I had actually spoke the words "I'm a survivor." It felt weird. Really weird. But it felt good. In my head I knew I was a survivor... but to hear them spill out of my mouth felt surreal... kind of like the first time you hold your baby. I felt almost guilty to say that I am a survivor - almost. Here's another woman who is just starting her battle, and I am relishing in the fact that I am done (for the most part).
My mom made the most beautiful bracelet for me. It's a glass bead bracelet. On the white beads there are pink ribbons. At the clasp, there's an angel and a metal ribbon. It's wonderful and I love wearing it. I wear it with pride.
While I haven't made it to the one year mark of learning of my diagnosis, I don't think I could have made it this far without the loving support of my family and friends. Thank you.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Day 286 - A quick visit
Just hopping on to let you know that I went in for my check up with Dr. Naik. She said everything is looking good and that she'll see me in 6 months. And so begins my bi-annual check ups! Fun times.
I am taking the tamoxifen. Today marks the fifth whole day, but my 6th pill will be taken tonight. So far, I am not seeing any horrible side effects. In fact, none at all. But I may be singing a different tune in another few weeks or so.
I have started working out more. I am working out on my Wii Fit. Feels good to be exercising on a regular basis again. I've been slacking... and I shouldn't be. Anywho, I was told by Dr. Chui that side effects are lessened if I work out. So I am taking his advice.
I am taking the tamoxifen. Today marks the fifth whole day, but my 6th pill will be taken tonight. So far, I am not seeing any horrible side effects. In fact, none at all. But I may be singing a different tune in another few weeks or so.
I have started working out more. I am working out on my Wii Fit. Feels good to be exercising on a regular basis again. I've been slacking... and I shouldn't be. Anywho, I was told by Dr. Chui that side effects are lessened if I work out. So I am taking his advice.
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