Day 294 - One Year Ago

It's interesting how life throws you a curve ball. Tomorrow will mark one year since I first went into the doctor's office with my suspected lump in my breast. I made the appointment most likely today and had the doctor look at me the very next day. It puts a lump in my throat. To think that I had cancer one year ago and didn't know it. I went in and the doctor thought that it was a clogged milk duct... mastitis. However, deep within me I knew it wasn't. A clogged milk duct would hurt like the dickens. I was also still breast feeding Elaina one year ago. Crazy. One year ago tomorrow, the doctor would have said try the old wives remedy by sticking cabbage leaves on your breast, then call me in a week if the lump doesn't go away. I must admit, I didn't run out and buy cabbage, so by the time I did, another week had elapsed. I also didn't want to go to work smelling like cabbage, so I would put it on my breast when I got home from work. Needless to say, the cabbage didn't work and then I just got busy with the holidays.... and we all know what happened at the beginning of 2012.

But I am a survivor. I survived my initial breast cancer diagnosis. I am cancer free and all my doctors are going to do whatever they can to keep me cancer free. And yes, I am calling myself a survivor. I had meant to post earlier... but after talking with one of my friends from grammar school - who had ovarian cancer in her teens - I switched my thinking. I realized that I was talking about my cancer in the past tense. I had cancer. I had surgery. I had radiation. Thank you, Andi!

Then in the past week, someone told me they were just recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I told her that I was a survivor. It was the first time that I had actually spoke the words "I'm a survivor." It felt weird. Really weird. But it felt good. In my head I knew I was a survivor... but to hear them spill out of my mouth felt surreal... kind of like the first time you hold your baby. I felt almost guilty to say that I am a survivor - almost. Here's another woman who is just starting her battle, and I am relishing in the fact that I am done (for the most part).

My mom made the most beautiful bracelet for me. It's a glass bead bracelet. On the white beads there are pink ribbons. At the clasp, there's an angel and a metal ribbon. It's wonderful and I love wearing it. I wear it with pride.

While I haven't made it to the one year mark of learning of my diagnosis, I don't think I could have made it this far without the loving support of my family and friends. Thank you.