Sorry for my last post. I was a bit upset and irritated at my situation for the first time since I learned of my diagnosis. I really wanted to get my whole ordeal over and done with this year. First for the sake of chalking off 2012 and starting 2013 fresh and new and second so I don't have to go through a new deductible and out of pocket max for insurance. So when I learned that it wouldn't be until March of 2013, I was a bit pissed. I had high hopes for this year.
So it looks like I will be getting my reconstruction surgery in March or April. I was also upset because my cruise is in March and I was hoping it would all be done and over by then. So now I am wondering if it would be good to get my surgery sometime in February or just wait until I get back. Either way, I'm getting boobs! LOL.
I was also a little irritated because the medical assistant also works with me at Xerox. She doesn't like me... and we had a little kerfluffel. In any case, she said that she won't say anything about my appointment outside of the office. I said "okay". Well, no, she can't say anything. That would be SOO WRONG. In any case, I was ticked that she felt that she had to say something like that. Whatever. I'm over it. And I saw her today. In fact she was sitting right behind me.
On Wednesday I had my follow up with Dr. Marquez, my radiation oncologist. She is the one who shed light on why they are waiting for the next surgery. First off, they want my skin to be normal color. Right now it looks like I have a tan. Next they want to make sure that the elasticity of my skin remains good. They want pliable skin. I understand now. Dr. Marquez said I wouldn't be ready until next year. And since I know what they're looking for, I am okay with it. Really I am. It just took me a night to stew over it. She also suggested that I do the oophorectomy at the same time. I agree.
Dr. Thakar, the plastic surgeon, gave me a prescription for some lotion to rub on my boob and under arm. I took it to the pharmacy. My insurance didn't cover it... $93. I said, no thanks. They finally got it to $30. I said I'll try it for $30. It's 5.4 ounces... and get this... it's a skin bleacher. Ha. I wonder if Michael Jackson used it all over his body.
On an unrelated note... it's open enrollment at work. In order to get a discount for my medical benefits (up to $600/year), I have to have bloodwork done. So yesterday I went in to Quest Diagnostics to get my blood drawn. After three pokes they said that they were unable to get my blood. I told them that I had small veins, pointed to a few places they could poke me... but they never listened. Irritating. So then I called my doctor's office and got an appointment with my physician for today. I went in... and it took two pokes and two different people to get my blood. They told me that instead of using the vacuum syringe thing, it's better for me to just use a regular syringe to extract the blood. The vacuum has such a strong suction that it blows out the vein. Aha! So they got my blood they needed, I got my flu shot and got to see my doctor. It's the first time that I have seen him since January. I've seen his wife more than him. So we chatted a bit. He said that he wished he knew me better because I told him that this year has gone by soo incredibly fast. He said that's good because it's all dependent on attitude. I also got my flu shot! Yay!
Oh yes, and how could I fail to forget... I got to see Dan on Wednesday. He gave me a great big hug and asked how I was doing. He said that we need to go out and have drinks. I told him I want a ride in his boat. He said no problem. In any case... he had to run and work on a patient, so I didn't get too much time to chat with him. He did say he'd be upset if I didn't stop and say hi. :)
Friday, November 9, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Day 297 - 6 month wait
Went to the reconstruction surgeon today. I have to wait until March at the earliest to get my tissue expanders replaced with the real implants. Needless to say I am extremely bummed.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Day 294 - One Year Ago
It's interesting how life throws you a curve ball. Tomorrow will mark one year since I first went into the doctor's office with my suspected lump in my breast. I made the appointment most likely today and had the doctor look at me the very next day. It puts a lump in my throat. To think that I had cancer one year ago and didn't know it. I went in and the doctor thought that it was a clogged milk duct... mastitis. However, deep within me I knew it wasn't. A clogged milk duct would hurt like the dickens. I was also still breast feeding Elaina one year ago. Crazy. One year ago tomorrow, the doctor would have said try the old wives remedy by sticking cabbage leaves on your breast, then call me in a week if the lump doesn't go away. I must admit, I didn't run out and buy cabbage, so by the time I did, another week had elapsed. I also didn't want to go to work smelling like cabbage, so I would put it on my breast when I got home from work. Needless to say, the cabbage didn't work and then I just got busy with the holidays.... and we all know what happened at the beginning of 2012.
But I am a survivor. I survived my initial breast cancer diagnosis. I am cancer free and all my doctors are going to do whatever they can to keep me cancer free. And yes, I am calling myself a survivor. I had meant to post earlier... but after talking with one of my friends from grammar school - who had ovarian cancer in her teens - I switched my thinking. I realized that I was talking about my cancer in the past tense. I had cancer. I had surgery. I had radiation. Thank you, Andi!
Then in the past week, someone told me they were just recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I told her that I was a survivor. It was the first time that I had actually spoke the words "I'm a survivor." It felt weird. Really weird. But it felt good. In my head I knew I was a survivor... but to hear them spill out of my mouth felt surreal... kind of like the first time you hold your baby. I felt almost guilty to say that I am a survivor - almost. Here's another woman who is just starting her battle, and I am relishing in the fact that I am done (for the most part).
My mom made the most beautiful bracelet for me. It's a glass bead bracelet. On the white beads there are pink ribbons. At the clasp, there's an angel and a metal ribbon. It's wonderful and I love wearing it. I wear it with pride.
While I haven't made it to the one year mark of learning of my diagnosis, I don't think I could have made it this far without the loving support of my family and friends. Thank you.
But I am a survivor. I survived my initial breast cancer diagnosis. I am cancer free and all my doctors are going to do whatever they can to keep me cancer free. And yes, I am calling myself a survivor. I had meant to post earlier... but after talking with one of my friends from grammar school - who had ovarian cancer in her teens - I switched my thinking. I realized that I was talking about my cancer in the past tense. I had cancer. I had surgery. I had radiation. Thank you, Andi!
Then in the past week, someone told me they were just recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I told her that I was a survivor. It was the first time that I had actually spoke the words "I'm a survivor." It felt weird. Really weird. But it felt good. In my head I knew I was a survivor... but to hear them spill out of my mouth felt surreal... kind of like the first time you hold your baby. I felt almost guilty to say that I am a survivor - almost. Here's another woman who is just starting her battle, and I am relishing in the fact that I am done (for the most part).
My mom made the most beautiful bracelet for me. It's a glass bead bracelet. On the white beads there are pink ribbons. At the clasp, there's an angel and a metal ribbon. It's wonderful and I love wearing it. I wear it with pride.
While I haven't made it to the one year mark of learning of my diagnosis, I don't think I could have made it this far without the loving support of my family and friends. Thank you.
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